Five Minute Friday - Small

Five Minute Friday. Such an amazing group of women to get to know and write with. They bless me. And I’ve never met a single one in person. Hope to someday. Someday soon. I’ll gather together with them and it will be a welcoming, encouraging, beautiful time of community. All these writers. And today we write about …

This Week: Small

Go

I used to think I had to do things the big and perfect and – let’s face it – Martha Stewart way to get it right. I used to think that for a lot of things. Holiday dinners. Gifting. Writing. Journaling (hah, the one place where you should be able to let it be messy and imperfect because no one else is going to see it). Friendship. Parenting. Work. Church. I thought you had to do it big to make it matter.

Yes, I’m an admitted perfectionist. Perhaps a reformed perfectionist after all this time. But I did used to buy into that whole idea of grandiosity. Even when I couldn’t afford it (oh wait, I still can’t afford it), even when it wasn’t practical, even when it wasn’t right. It was supposed to be right. That’s what they said.

I stopped listening to them.

Finally.

Maybe it was some time after Martha Stewart went away and did her time. Maybe it was seeing that she could still pull it off after being in jail. Maybe then I thought I just shouldn’t try to play in that sandbox.

Or maybe it was when the biggest smile I ever got from my daughter was not after a pile of grandiose presents, or a ridiculously over-the-top-party, or too much money spent on clothes she would soon forget about. But after one summer day of sitting on the lawn chair in the back yard and bird watching. Just watching the birds, and seeing which ones we could identify out of my bird book. Then coming out again at night – the warm afternoon fading into crispness and snuggling under a blanket to count the stars. And singing the moon song.

That was enough. Her small body turning into me; her little hand coming up to my cheek; smiling in the darkness and saying, “Mama, this was my best day ever.”

I see the moon and the moon sees me
I see the moon and the moon sees me
I see the moon and the moon sees me
Shine on the one who is dear to me

Tears in the moonlight, and one of my best lessons ever.

Stop

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