Behind the Scenes - Back to School

My Faith Hunter as she prepared for Kindergarten

Tomorrow is back to school. And for the first time, in a really long time, I am dreading it. Even as I sit to write this post, the final decision about where my daughter will wind up spending the next year, maybe two, of her educational experience is up for debate. As a parent that is one of the hardest things in the world to wait on. As a parent with control issues, it’s excruciating.

When I look at the montage I have pinned here and think back to five years ago to the first day of Kindergarten, we were so excited. My husband and I both loved school, and I had continued to celebrate the fall milestone each year, even before she was born, with the trek down the paper and pen aisles for more notebooks and a new rainbow of writing instruments – maybe some new paperclips (oh, and why not some new stickers, book bands, colored tape) – all those adorable accoutrements that a student just can’t live without.

Launching her into her academic career was an exciting venture. We carefully considered the options available to us and did our best to coordinate getting her into the right classroom with a friend. I had way too much fun at Land’s End (finally – after years of waiting), and then it was time. Time to hand over our one precious gift to the school system and trust that they would continue what we had begun.

I wish I could say that there’s been an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

There hasn’t.

The first year was great. Her teacher was the ideal blend of toughness and heart. She had a reputation for being strict, but you never doubted for one second that she loved each and every one of those kids and had their best interests at heart. Unfortunately, the school ran into troubles with their administrator that bled into conflicts for the teachers. Her teachers struggled with their own difficulties and one; then the other left the school. I wrestled with my anger as one difficult situation sparked another, and after trying to be patient and toughing it out for three years, we decided to make a change and move to our neighborhood school with the traditional style of more structured education.

Except we can’t.

Now we’re facing more administrative red tape and rules that say we have to put her back into a school where the style of teaching has failed her, where she has not felt emotionally safe, and where night after night, she cries herself to sleep and doesn’t want to go back.

This is one of those hard times when the reality of your faith becomes the rubber on the road.
This is not genocide.

My sweet girl - this summer. All grown up.

This is not poverty.
This is not death.
I know this. There are far worse things.
But this is my child. (this is my heart)
This is her education.

This is her future.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

This is one of the first verses I learned with my father, and I am praying this hard as we work through the next fort-eight hours to resolve this situation. Whatever the outcome, I know that God has His hand on this situation. It may be that He will resolve it and allow her to go to the school that we have chosen for her. It may be that He will ask us to stay where we are and rely on Him even more on a daily basis to get through a tough situation. I need to remember that so much more than this defines her. I need to recall the happiness she's had this summer, and hold onto the promise of what's to come.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

Either way, I expect and know that God’s hand will be seen and His purpose will be made known and He will be glorified for what He has done.

Will you pray through this with me?



I'm linking up with Crystal Stine and company again today; joining the Behind the Scenes link up. A place to make a connection beyond the Pinterest perfect ideals; to look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it; to say hi, this is me in all my messy real-ness. Sounds like a good time to me.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!