I Press On

I am feeling this mid-winter season reflecting itself inside today. The sparkle and glow of winter in December has been replaced by icy winds, grey skies, and a relentless rain that flings itself from the clouds with ill-veiled contempt. Elsewhere around the country, snow continues to flurry and pile up; showing up in picture after picture in my social media feeds captioned with growing desperation and the feeling that this will never leave.

I’m feeling an echoing starkness in this particular season right now. As much as I’ve been trying to commit to time in the Word, nourishing my soul with great books and community, and listening for His voice in quiet meditation, I find myself restless, impatient, and all to consumed by the necessary pieces of daily life. I’m trying to lean in. Trying to find the sacred space in the small things; trying to find holy moments in the every day. But to tell you the truth, I’m just getting frustrated.

Deadlines are pressing in. It feels like we’ve been playing lightening rounds of hot potato with a vicious cold. Bills are piling up and I’m not making any more money than I was two months ago. I can’t seem to keep my house clean. And then a series of parenting fiascos make me feel like an utter failure and waste of time as a mother and I find myself crumpled against the wall, sobbing through a stuffed nose and just wanting to quit.

I don’t quit.

Quitting isn’t an option. Not where I come from. Not the way I’m built. But what I’ve been learning, is that I need to let go of “where I come from” and re-evaluate “the way I’m built” because pushing forward for the sake of pushing isn’t the right way to do it. Neither is doing it on my own. Which, if I’m being honest with myself, is where I’ve been headed. Again. Wandering back into the territory of thinking that I have to get it all done – the key word being “I.”

My first clue that I might be wandering off the path really should be the frustration and escalating tension I begin to feel when I’m trying to wrangle things on my own. Because on my own just isn’t going to cut it.

If it isn’t obvious by now, I need someone else to hold me up, someone else to give me strength, someone else to provide the wisdom to do the things that need doing; care for the things that need tending; and to give me the long-view of what this is all being done for.

I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 12-14 ESV

So this is what I do. I don’t quit. I re-group. I get back into the Word, because that’s where He speaks to me. I quiet my frustrations and accept the fact that I am just human and can’t get it all done. It’s okay. I find my focus again, and get my eyes back on Jesus – the author and finisher of my faith, our faith, and the reason that I’m choosing to do the things that I do.

Pressing on is digging deep when it feels like you’re running out of steam. Digging deep into the strength of the Lord; allowing His presence to fill the areas of your weakness and turn them into something else. Something more. Something His.

Pressing on is taking all the necessary pieces of life and looking at them in the redemptive light of God’s love. Where even the ordinary can take on the glimmer of something sacred if I allow Him to show me how.

Pressing on is accepting that even if it’s not working out the way I want it to here, “here” isn’t the goal. And that what is to come is even more amazing that what I can possibly imagine.

I press on.







I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.