Five Minute Friday - Nothing

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This week: Nothing

Go

If I add up all the echoing moments
All the times when despair and desolation
Chase hard –

Like a cold shot of iced tequila down
An already burning throat

Like falcon on prey –
Plummeting, bullet-fast out of the steel-blue sky

Like the inevitable hurl of an avalanche
Over the lip of an unsuspecting cliff

All those times that leave me shaking; autumn’s last leaf
Clinging to the threads of summer's life
I am buried
Under the torrent of snow
Under the onslaught of feathers
Under the drunken blast
I am withered to the smallest bit of nothing.

This is all the time.
This is where I live.
This is what lies behind the curtain.
This is the lie.

And it lies,
Rancorous and hard –
A cutting razor’s edge that tears
Demanding belief
Pushing acquiescence
Believe.

But in the moment before it all closes
Over my head I hear you.
You, Who have never left.
My One Defense, My Righteousness 

Sifting through the interminable mess
The nothing I would be without You.
And your words speak calm,
They speak true,
They speak a refining fire over me

So much so that darkness flees –
Doubt flies –

The vast expanse of nothing that was,
Is now
Nothing
But the fountain of grace;
Flowing from the mercy seat.
From your heart;
Broken once and again for me
(even if it was only me)
Every hour I need you 

And so it goes.
My struggle to believe.
And so it goes on.
Your transformative work –
To take nothing
(as you did in the beginning)
And make a miracle –
Bringing life from the dark.
Holiness is Christ in me
My story for your glory.
Nothing but that.

Stop

How to Join 
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you; encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Remembering Maya Angelou

We say goodbye to a beautiful literary pace-setter, poet, and artistic soul today. At 86, she exemplified giving a voice to the voiceless and creating beauty from ashes. Sometimes our art can be a complex - even painful process. But when worked in the strong, gentle hands of our Creator, is sure to break forth in beauty in His time.








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When Art Invites You to Leap

Welcome to another week of Art in Your Life. Our group had its official kick off in Monday, and the image here is our visual prompt for the next several days. At the beginning of the week, one of the three leaders will share a prompt – a quote, a word, a verse – something that inspires us that we hope will inspire our group to meditate on art, life, and what God has for them. On Fridays, we open an online photo gallery where members of the group share images of what they’ve been working on based on this prompt.

I’m thrilled that our group has been so willing to begin to dive in and explore – even before we officially launched (did you see last week’s prompt?). The prompt for today – an excerpt from Walking on Water, written by one of my very favourite authors: Madeleine L’Engle.

As you consider this quote, I ask that you do what you have already been doing: leap and plunge. ‪#‎ArtInYourLife‬ comes best when we can release preconceived ideas of “the way things are supposed to be.” Never mind what the ubiquitous “they” says. What are you called to do? What has God laid in your heart to create? Do that.

Madeleine writes:

“For the past several generations we’ve forgotten what the psychologists call our archaic understanding, a willingness to know things in their deepest most mythic sense. We’re all born with archaic understanding, and I’d guess that the loss of it goes directly with the loss of ourselves as creators. But unless we are creators, we are not fully alive.”

This week, allow yourself to be fully alive as you look around you to discover the art that is in your life. Whether you are making something, arranging something, cooking something – even observing something – if you stop and honor that; if you give thanks for what God has blessed you with, if you discover ways to bless and serve others around you with it – these are steps towards the creative, artistic life.







Even if you’re not participating in our group or another community group, you may enjoy the opportunity to try your hand at making #ArtInYourLife. You’re welcome to find our hashtag on Instagram and Twitter and join in the fun!

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Lord, I Need You

I’m doing some soul work this weekend. Digging into a book that I’ve been wanting to read, but that also scares me enough that I’ve been shuffling it to the back of the pile – reading almost anything else in order to not read this book.

But then on Friday, it showed up on the blog of a writer I love to read, and came up in three separate conversations with friends – totally unrelated in topic and theme. I don’t run around looking for signs, but this felt like a big hint – so maybe it’s time. 

I imagined this would be a good, if painful process. I expected I was going to have to dig deep and take a long, hard look at who I am and where I’ve been. I just didn’t think it would be as hard as it’s been. Friends who read the book raved, while saying that it wrecked them. They’re not kidding.

While I’m not ready to write about this discovery (I’m still working my way through the book) yet, I can’t help but want to recommend it to anyone who has struggled with the idea that there is something not quite enough about who they are. Whether this is a struggle with physical appearance, an empty space in your heart that longs for love, an unrelenting need to keep up the type-A pace to be the best (or all of the above and more) – I think this book might be for you.

I won’t kid you – the part about getting wrecked? It’s real. I haven’t cried as much as I have this weekend in a long, long time. I am uncovering things long buried, voices I hadn’t thought I’d ever hear again – messages I thought I had moved past and left behind. Right now, I am clinging tightly to the Word; leaning hard on a couple of specific friends who are helping me stay accountable in reading through this and praying me through; and keeping some songs on repeat on my iPod (Lord, I need you).

I’m reading other things at the same time – I’m one of those folks who have a stack of books by the bedside – constantly pouring through and changing it up. They are working in tandem to reinforce this message. And when I opened my friend Barbie’s blog to check out the Weekend Brew – it was just another brace in the structure. She writes about growth as a process. Transformation – painful sometimes, but necessary. She writes:

We will never be complete until we are completely His. 

This is truth.

If you are in a space where you feel alone, afraid, angry, or lost in your circumstances, can I assure you that you do not need to be there by yourself? The Father of mercies and the God of all comfort is waiting with outstretched arms to embrace you. There is no getting better, no cleaning up, no preparing before you go to Him. There is just going. Simply open your heart and say, “Lord, I need you.”

Joining Barbie at My Freshly Brewed Life for the Weekend Brew for the very first time to breathe life and share encouragement.

I’m reading Love Idol by Jennifer Dukes Lee. 
From the Back Cover 
“Hi, I’m Jennifer. I know we’ve just met, but already . . . I want you to like me.” YOU’VE FELT IT—that deep longing for people to value you, respect you . . . and love you. You’ve worked hard for their approval. You’ve wanted to make people think you’ve got it all together, but on the inside, you’re falling apart. And you’ve heard this one question ringing in your ears: What will people think of me? 

Jennifer Dukes Lee knows exactly how you feel. She understands how exhausting life can be when you’re chained to your approval rating. Jennifer has spent plenty of time and energy trying to earn others’ approval—at work, home, and church—all while wondering what would happen if the facade dropped and everyone saw her hidden mess. She’s made the same mistakes many of us make as we try to sprint for significance—and wear ourselves out pursuing human love and acceptance above all else. 

And now Jennifer leads you on a journey to rediscover the joy found in the unconditional love of God. Through her own life journey, she gently invites you to make peace with yourself and to stop working overtime for an approval that is already yours in Christ. Love Idol will help you dismantle what’s separating you from true connection with God and rediscover the astonishing freedom of a life lived in authentic love. 

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Five Minute Friday - Close

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This week: Close

Go

In all truth, we are so wide-spread that if this were a hundred years ago – goodness, if this were fifty years ago, I’m not sure we’d even know each other. The wonders of the technological age have allowed bridges to be built and roads and rivers to be crossed in ways that have not happened before.

The community that gathers here around the Five Minute Friday prompt; that spills out from the blog posts at (in)courage – these are some of the most sincere and amazing friendships I’ve made. Ever. It begins with the freedom of a somewhat anonymous exploration through social media – who will see all the cracks and crevices of my real life when filtered through the lens of Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram? Who will have to bear with the brokenness of the real me when all they’ll see is my status updates and carefully framed pictures?

Good luck – that doesn’t last. Something happens after a brief while, and the women you’re chatting with online begin to take on a third dimension. Real prayers are shared; real joys are celebrated; real sorrows are lifted up as real hearts shimmer across the bits and bytes of data current to hold each other close and lift each other up.

Other elements are added and relationships bloom in small group communities and through letters that manage to grace real mailboxes at just the right time. How those words curl gently off the page like a wisp of candle smoke – just puffed out – to carry the love and encouragement of a friend you’ve not met in person. Yet.

One day, there will be tea, and leisurely hours spent laughing and chatting – watching a face you’ve known only as a profile come to life and a thousand different ways. A voice you’ve known only as a comforting lifeline on Voxer will be just a heartbeat away through a smile. And the words that have spilled only online in comments on in letters and cards will wrap themselves around you with the hug that you’ve been waiting for. 

There is nothing like community when the heart of that community is Christ. When each member turns towards the other to ask: how can I serve? How can I lift you up? Doors are thrown wide and everyone is welcome. There is a space here for you.

Stop







How to Join
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

After First Breath

the wonder of it all
is that we go on
after that first breath –
after we understand (in that fragile moment)
that what we were expecting
(what we were told to expect)
is nowhere near what was coming
(what is coming and what will continue to come).

the only wonder is that the pace never wanes;
the light never dims;
there is no pause button.
only life lessons, carved chapter and verse
from our own flesh.
wants and needs
sacrificed for
wants and needs.

a continual moving and forging ahead;
this is learn on our feet;
groove as we go;
this is no time for cowardice or
shrinking hesitation.
this is a time for no fear.
even if being brave is the smallest thing we can manage –
do it with our whole heart.

small feet will follow,
tiny hands will grasp and mimic
first at the air and our smiles,
but sooner than we think,
at our favorite teacups;
our tone and tenor;
and before long our life becomes
played out in miniature before our eyes.

in weary, wary moments the weight
of this beautiful burden can overwhelm.
and tears fall, because – will we ever be enough?
will there ever be enough of us?
how can we possibly manage to
safely navigate the passage of a star?
or launch the wild unleashing
of a new cosmos?

in quiet moments on hands and knees
with hearts laid bare
we ask for grace once more – perhaps for ourselves, but more
for those small lights we shepherd.
grace that our missteps and mistakes
will fade into the background of painted miracles
and soft, warm snuggles where hearts
beat as one.

the wonder of it all
is that we go on at all after that first breath –
after we understand (in that fragile moment)
that life in all its dirt and glory
will nestle at our side at the end of the day;
wrap small arms around us; look up
and call us mother.

my darling bug

I am blessed to be the mother of a darling bug worth writing about (and writing for), who inspires me daily to be a better mother, a better woman, a better human being. I am also blessed to have an amazing, incredible mother, who from my first breath, has never stopped giving everything she could for me – honestly, more than she should. Her example is my North Star. It is a gift to say that I am also blessed to be mothered by my husband's mother, whose kindness and generosity I am learning to appreciate more each day.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.

When Art Is a Verb

This week, as the (in)courage community groups throw wide the doors of the beach house and welcome women in, our group – Art In Your Life – begins its adventure.

What I’m sharing here is the weekly visual prompt and welcome message to the group. Even if you’re not participating in our group or another community group, you may enjoy the opportunity to try your hand at making #ArtInYourLife. You’re welcome to find our hashtag on Instagram and Twitter and join in the fun!

Welcome friends and fellow artists and creators! We are so glad you’re here. More will be joining us throughout the week, and we’ll have some more formal introductions and resources, but I wanted to share one of the ideas that we, as leaders, have talked about doing for this group. Each week (on Mondays), we will be posting a visual prompt like this one; with a word or quote or verse; and encourage you to meditate on the prompt and let it be an invitation to create something in your life that week. At the end of the week (on Saturdays) we will open a photo album/gallery for you to share images of your work if you would like. 

First off – no pressure – this is invitation only! You may only be comfortable creating and not sharing – we are so okay with that. We just want to encourage you to consider art in your life and become more comfortable with that idea – we are all creators! 

I loved this quote from Emily Freeman because I felt it gave so much latitude in interpretation. It asks simply, “what are you doing in your life that is art?” Perhaps you will feel led to try out a new medium: pick up paints or pencils; grab a camera and wander outside; sink your fingers into clay and mold. Perhaps you will create a beautiful arrangement of flowers in your home; or find the perfect spot for a favorite picture or poster. Perhaps you have a special skein of yarn you’ve been saving for a special occasion and can knit or crochet something lovely with it. Whatever you do, let your art be a verb; let your actions come to life; let your prayers and praise take flight. Enjoy #ArtInYourLife!







I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

The Power of Encouragement – An Invitation to Community

Community. Groups. Welcome. Friendships with women. I’m going to be honest with you – these are not things that have come easy to me in my life. From a shy, self-conscious child; to a somewhat prickly, loner-styled adolescent; to an introverted, independent adult, “group” anything has not been something I have gravitated towards. They have been exhausting to me; often filled with drama (even with adults); and a place where hurt was likely to happen. Keeping my own company or forging close, intimate friendships with just one person at a time was what worked for me.

But life happens, and it’s not always easy to walk the path alone. No matter how independent or introverted we might be, I believe that we have been created for relationship and community. Gathering and fellowship are woven into the matrix of our making as sure as our need to breathe and feel the sun on our face.

It’s not easy, but it’s good.

I’ve been blessed with a group of in-real life girlfriends who are a strong, loyal group of diverse souls with a common core and love for one another. Our time together can wax and wane, but there is never any doubt in my mind that if a need should arise, I can call on one of these gems in my life and they will be there.

I’ve been equally blessed to discover an online community of women who open their hearts, gather you in, and make you feel like one of their own. Until (in)courage, my only experience with online community centered around dragons, armies, and other beasties (surprise – bet you didn’t see that one coming!). Troops were rallied. Things were slain. Virtual high fives were given. That was about it.

But this space – they don’t call it the beach house for nothing. It’s been called a bench, too – a place for gathering women in. For making a space for someone to sit down next to you with a cup of coffee or tea and taking time to invest in their lives as the connect with and invest in yours. It’s real and it’s amazing.

This God-blessed space has birthed many friendships for me – ones I never saw coming, but can’t imagine living without. These women pray for each other, write to each other (online and with real snail mail!), encourage each other, draw near for each other, and embrace the joys and pains of each other’s lives in a real, tangible way. They become the hands and feet of Christ; ministering to each other, and then join hands to minister to others around them – and sometimes even around the world.

Today, over seventy community groups over at (in)courage swing their doors wide to welcome you in. There are groups for everyone: moms of all kinds, writers, artists, students, care givers, single gals, empty-nesters, you name it. I’ve had the joy of being part of a terrific writing group for the past several seasons, but after my blogging sabbatical this Spring, was feeling a pull to consider leadership. At the invitation of the (in)courage leadership team, I signed up to co-lead a group, and am thrilled to be doing this for the first time with two other amazing friends, Karrilee and Sarah Jo.

We’ll be co-leading a group called Art in Your Life: Adding Beauty as Co-Creators with Christ. This group is about more than just creating arts and crafts. It’s about learning to make your life an artistic expression and joining with your creator by using the gifts you’ve been given in creative expression that brings glory to God and blesses those around you. Whatever medium you choose: be it paper, fiber, fabric, paint, pen, repurposed, vintage, metal, glass, wood, or other media – we invite you to join us as we look at art in our lives and what it means to be co-creators of beauty with our Creator. We want you to freely and unselfconsciously discover your creative self and the joy that it can bring to you and those around you.

Click here to visit the (in)courage community group page to find a group that fits your needs and wants, and if the artistic creative life is calling you, I hope you’ll consider joining us for Art In Your Life.







I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Where I Tell You a Secret About Myself: I Am An ...

Can you lean in a little closer? I can’t say this very loud; this secret I’m about to reveal here. Just typing those words makes my heart thrum a bit faster. My window is flung wide to welcome the night breezes and the expanse of deepening darkness that will let me hide. I’ve lit one small candle in my little blue bird that came winging its way from Empire, Alabama to remind me that I am loved and enough. Sarah Bareilles sings Brave on repeat in my ears as loud as I can manage to have her. Still.

Here it goes.

I am an artist.

Something like a strangled laugh escapes me because I know most friends and family who read this will begin laughing hysterically; well, with moderate hysterics out of respect for my feelings. But heads will be shaken as they say, “Oh, girl … we already know that.”

Well shoot. I’m glad you knew it.
I’m still working on it.

Writer – that one I can own – have owned since before I knew it was even a question. Words are my warp and weft. They are my well-spun creation. They are my weapon. My sacrifice. My breath. My heartbeat.

But artist? How do I wrap my ownership around that when I can’t draw anything besides right eyes and vines; my perspective is skewed beyond belief; and the last painting I attempted of a leaf in a stream is drying for kindling – hidden away on a shelf beneath books.

This is my problem, and I suspect the trap that so many have fallen in to. Our idea of art is dictated by classes and theory and what becomes giltly framed in quiet museum halls. Rembrandt. Picasso. Matisse. Degas. It’s often paint – something with a brush. Perhaps bronze or marble. It follows the golden ratio and more formulas than a college math class. It is elevated so high above us – an ideal. But unachievable. Unattainable.

But what if …

• Color draws you and you can’t stop putting your pens in rainbow or complementary color order? 
• You arrange pieces in your home to reflect beauty, balance, harmony, and peace? 
• Your hands manage needles, hooks, and skein after skein of colored wool, silk, and other fibers into wondrous creations that are serviceable as well as beautiful? 
• Light calls you and your answer is a camera and F-stops; making images from living art freeze into timeless images that hold memories forever?
• Sugar and flour move like magic in your hands and ingredients fall in line to become tasty treats or savory bites makes your audience swoon and then sigh with delight? 
• Metal moves in your fingers and before you know if; you have the answer to a question like “what does ‘fresh words’ look like in three dimensions?” 
• You open a journal and more than words spill out onto the page to breathe life into your feelings, emotions, and experiences? 

What if the living of your life became your art?

It took more years than I’m comfortable acknowledging but I’ve finally opened my eyes and my heart to the idea that art can be more than a painting by a master in a museum. Art is creation and creating. It is acknowledging the gifts we have been given and saying a brave yes to that creation; allowing it to unfold and reveal itself in what we will do.

Art is a work of faith; this stepping out and being willing to own an idea and a title that may sit uncomfortably tight on our shoulders at first. But like any garment, we need to let it wear its way to just-right softness; loose about us. It will only get that way if we wear it.

In her wonderful book A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live, Emily P. Freeman writes:

As you move to the rhythm of the Spirit of God, what is within you that you can now give to someone else? Not for the glory of yourself, but as a person who bears the image of God in the world. What are those things in the deepest part of who you are, the personality and desires and unique blending of history and circumstance and longing – what is most alive in you as you are united with Christ that you can now pour out as an offering unto God for the benefit of others? 

And there it is: God given. Pouring Out. For the blessing of others. How can you say no to that?

On my blogging sabbatical in April, I spent time doing many things that fed my soul. I read. I wrote offline in my journal (more). I snuggled with my daughter and established some new habits that keep us connected. And I dug into art. I tossed out the ideas that I couldn’t draw and embraced the idea that I really love color and started Art Journaling.

That led to some questions – me asking – me being asked – and in God’s timing He allowed an invitation to be extended to me to co-lead one of the (in)courage community groups. Options were open for the groups, but the word in my spirit was Art. Terrified, but encouraged by the book I was reading at the time, I said yes. And then promptly asked a friend to join me. This has led to an amazing shared vision between myself and my two co-leaders for a new (in)courage group that launches on Monday, May 19th. I’m excited about this new adventure and what it will bring. I’m looking forward to exploring myself as an artist, but even more, to encouraging other women who feel the pull and tug of art on their life but are not quite sure if they can own that title. You can, my friend. You surely can.

Stay tuned for more information on Monday, and in the meantime, keep my secret for me, would you?







I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Bear With Me

I read a piece by a favorite new writer tonight; then sat here on the cool edge of early night and let the tears flow over me and through me. It was not the first time today.

Her words about obeying sadness and working past learned behavior of believing that anything but happiness and light was a failure of faith struck a deep chord in me.

I have battled that. Feared that. Fled from that for so long. I have walked through so many empty barren streets in my life; there is no way I will not sometimes carry that darkness with me. If I am being truly honest with myself and my writing, some parts of my life are still a dark, empty road.

I do not fear the darkness. I have learned to navigate my way by stars and reflections from light warming rooms far across the fields of comfort and continuity, but there are times when the darkness feels as if it will overwhelm me. When the words that I know to be true in my heart, are a faint echo of a song that used to play and the strong foundation on which I tread shakes beneath my feet.

In times like these, I do the one thing I am so very bad at.
I reach out. Help me. Hold me up. Bear with me.

It is a small, select group of people for whom I reach. I can barely whisper their names. But I know I can. Pray for me. These are the ones that stand in the gap when I am the silent shell of my usual self; red-eyed and weary; hiding from the world behind a false smile or the bathroom door. Bear with me.

And for the longest time, I thought I was wrong. Thought it was failure and weakness to not be strong. Not be happy. Not be in the light at all times. But then memory falls like rain and pours out all the times that God has been near in the darkness. When it was in the still solace of the night and the quiet of the dusk that I found His voice and found His peace. God in all His wisdom called the night by name and knows the darkness as His own creation. He understands how He has made us and knows that while we will strive and aim and point ourselves at the light, we will stumble a little while in the darkness. Be thankful that His grace and mercy are there to catch us.

If you are in a time of darkness or shadow, can I encourage you that you do not have to immediately try and shrug this off and feel ashamed? There are times and seasons to our being, and there are moments when our joy will be muted. Not gone, but not springing out in full force. Joy never leaves, but sometimes it whispers. We will have sadness; we will have trouble in this life; and God in His goodness will carry us through. And if we are blessed indeed, we will have ones who will come alongside and lend their hands to carry us as well. 

Whether you are carrying, or being carried, remember that we are created to love one another and bear each other up under the burdens that will surely come. Sometimes loving is stepping in when your friend is bowed low with sorrow and the heaviness of living. And sometimes loving is allowing someone else to fulfill their gift and hold you up.






I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.

I'm also joining Holley Gerth at her link up, Coffee for Your Heart, because I love the encouragement of that community.

Five Minute Friday - Grateful (The Desire of My Heart)

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It is here that fear falls away, because scared is the new brave. I’m not sure what I’m writing tonight. I still feel as if I’m walking on the wobbly rocks between sand and shore – making my way back from a break. Words flow, but they feel more deeply personal – not everything I would normally say. But this is what we do here. We say. I count on this community to hold me in times like this. When there are more questions than answers and even the familiar is questionable. Always, I say: Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This week: Grateful

Go

This is the heart I strive for. I fail mightily on a daily basis. My impatient frustration; so often impervious to the idea that I stand redeemed amidst a shower of grace – it gnaws and twists and thrusts inside me – wanting to raise an angry head. Wanting to complain. Wanting to make some noise.

Stop please.

I am ever weary of this conflict in my heart. So ready to give up this struggle with a nature that is all too human (as if I was expecting something better, something different). I cry, and pray, and hope, and dream, and count, and order another book from Barnes and Noble and wish desperately that these new words of wisdom will lead me to a grateful heart.

I sink deep in to Psalms, Proverbs, Galatians, Ephesians. His Word. The Word. All the words looking for the one word that will lead me to that elusive word: grateful.

Stop please.

I am ever grateful for the things I can see: I have more books within arm’s reach than some people will touch in a lifetime. I have a beautiful child where some still long for the sound of one, blessed heartbeat. Though I struggle with my husband from time to time, he cares for me and is patient like no other. I have friends whose care and nurture of me is like warm sunlight on my skin after a long rain. I am blessed.

I am even grateful for the things that ache and burn and hurt. It is hard to say that out loud, but the painful dark and the lonely roads have shaped my heart and my words and make me more willing to risk vulnerability again to help heal a similar hurt I hear in another’s voice. The sharp twinge or step that makes me stumble makes me pause and consider those who cannot run as freely or move as smoothly. These things bring understanding and compassion. And yet …

Stop please.

Oh my heart that is never satisfied let me chase my way back to grace and to a sanctuary of holiness where God alone is enough. Where He is all that I see. And gratitude abounds.

Stop







How to Join 
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Stretching Our Hearts Wide for Mother's Day - Becoming the Gift

A mother’s heart stretches wide. This is something we grow in to. You cannot explain to a soon-to-be mother or a new mother how truly larger her heart will swell and grow over the course of her lifetime and her children’s lifetime. You cannot even tell a mother in the midst of her journey how she will continue to change and grow. And at the end, I wonder if you would be able to tell a mother who has launched her children from her nest and seen them off into the wilds of their own life. I think perhaps the answer is no. From what I hear, there is no end to the elastic expanse of a mother’s heart and what it will encompass.

We designate a day for mothers – choosing the second Sunday in May to recognize what they have given and sacrificed. But how many mothers face this day with tight smiles of trepidation; wondering if they’ll be remembered sincerely; or if they’ll run fast into the face of pastel-painted expectations showcased behind glass at the local super-mall. Artfully folded pieces of gilded paper selling for $6 simply because they say “Mother” and knickknacks to add to a shelf of other forgotten best wishes collecting dust. Do these lovely, but fleeting ideas express our true appreciation? Do we say thank you beyond this Sunday?

What if remembering our Mamas was about more than an overpriced card on a Hallmark-designated day? What if our appreciation ran into action and change that was more than a day deep and cost more than mere dollars? What if the cost was counted in time invested in relationships and experiences together with moms; long walks; gardening together; a trip to the museum; a symphony under the stars; or tea on the balcony of a quiet hotel? Things she might really like. What if the cost was dishes washed after a long day so mom could take a moment on the couch with that book where the tassel hasn’t moved in three months? What if there was listening, and doing, and following through in a way that would make Mom drop her jaw because she only had to ask once?

What if it was all of these things, and then something more?

What if the celebrated and the celebrators decided to make this day for Mamas a day that would move mountains and change the world. Even just one small corner of it?

Lisa-Jo Baker, author of Surprised by Motherhood (now there’s a good idea for a Mother’s Day delight) has been working with so many in this
blogging community on a project to do just that. The Maubane community in South Africa is home to about 250 orphans and vulnerable children and 150 adults make their way in this space of empty land and tents. Our goal is to fund a community center that will provide: a space of hygienic food preparation, running water, sanitation, facilities for a caretaker who will farm the vegetable garden for sustainable food production and provide security and maintenance for the center.

What if Mother’s Day could be about stepping outside of our needs, our wants, our day as Mothers and answering the call of the motherless child in South Africa and the mothers far across the miles who need so desperately, some of these things we take for granted on a daily basis?

What if together, our hearts could stretch wide and be the gift?

This Mother’s Day, you are invited to open your heart to the Maubane Community Center as we dream big and set our sights on expression appreciation for all that we have been given by giving back. Join us by helping to continue the funding for the Kitchen and Community Center. It’s a big dream. But that dream is backed by an even bigger God who has no limits on the miracles that He can unfold.

Remember your own mothers in a tangible way that extends beyond what the world of greeting card glitz has decided is the day. And remember these other mothers and those without moms who are oceans away, but held close in our hearts through prayer and blessing of being the gift.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Click on the link below to bring your gift to the Maubane Community Center in South Africa

Five Minute Friday - Mess

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It is here that fear falls away, because scared is the new brave. There is safety in this community that rallies ‘round you – whether you’re having an utter confidence meltdown and are sure you can’t write anymore, a catastrophic parenting meltdown and are sure you can’t mother anymore, or just an epic almost Friday breakdown and are just not sure. These women – they’ve got you. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.  

This week: Mess


Go


Quiet now my heart. I know it’s been a while, but this rhythm is nothing if not familiar. Already the frizz and thrum of my phone has come alive like a throng of embrace in a room I might have walked in to. That’s just what it’s like – coming back to the Five Minute Friday community after a month-long sabbatical. These are my people. This is where part of my heart will always hide.


Already though, I’ve felt the hedge in my words. My fingers hover over the keys instead of flying. Pausing makes you thoughtful. Introspective. Aware. Simmering in the wise words of other women – ones you look up to and listen to; sinking yourself deep into the roots of specific scriptures and letting yourself germinate like a seed – it makes you less likely to go slap-dashing across the page just to see the ink spill. At least it does for me.

This time away has been so good. There is so much I want to say. But I am pausing here in the white space; lingering in the margins before diving in full force because of some of the things I saw in the stillness. Without the distraction of the next prompt and the next page to fill, I stood face-to-face with my reflection and looked into eyes that did not want to look back and meet mine.

I wish I weren’t so critical? Have you ever felt that way? Not only of myself, but of everything around me. I used to find comfort in saying that I set the bar high for everything - including myself. I wasn’t asking for any standard I wouldn’t exact from my own flesh. But really, where did that exacting get me? Into a big pile of critical mess – that’s where. Wrapping myself in my idea of integrity and exacting my idea of perfection, control, and justice until there was nothing but an unattainable measure of my own making. Brilliant. 


This is otherwise known as a hot mess. 


Until somewhere in the quiet and the stillness, words trickled through that allowed me to see that exaction is taxing at best and only damaging in the long run. That it is not my job to set the standard or the bar. And that perfection is nothing but a hamster wheel in disguise – running nowhere and leading to exhaustion and immobility.


What I need – what you need – what we all need, is grace.
God’s grace.
His healing.
His measure.
He never said, clean up this mess and come to me.
He just said come.
Just as I am.
Just as you are.
Come.

Stop


Tonight’s prompt was inspired by Kristen Welch’s new book, Rhinestone Jesus. You can read my review and enter to win one of two copies if you click over here. I hope you will. Blessings and grace to you friends.








How to Join
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Rhinestone Jesus – Because the Small Yes Matters (A book review and giveaway!)

This is my coming back. My stepping in. My return. A one-month blog sabbatical that began as a question;
that led to a wondering; that brought me into a space of new ideas, new thoughts, and new traditions. I wavered at first, stepping small; wondering if it was worth it – could I really step away? Would I be missed – was there any significance to my writing existence enough that the white space (however temporary) would be noticed? Was there anything worth discovering in the absence of words and retreat from social media – anything I could harvest and bring back? Stepping away was a small yes. To be honest, so is stepping back in.

Yes.


My sabbatical time has been bathed and washed in the words of wise women I look up to. I will share some of them soon, but I’m so excited to tell you about one wise woman in particular who has a book launching today. 


Kristen Welch shares her life and her story in Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly, Safe Faith is No Longer Enough. Kristen is the founder of Mercy House Kenya – the beautiful organization I discovered last fall, when I had the privilege of linking arms and efforts together with other writers to help raise money for the young women and their babies who live there. We spilled our words and their stories out and invited the world to join us in giving them an early Christmas present. A multitude of small yeses coming together to birth a miracle. And what a miracle it was. Fully funded. Early. Full measure. Pressed and shaken down. Running over.

This is what Kristen’s book has too. Her story of small yeses in high school, in marriage, in parenting, in writing, in living her life as God has called her to. These yeses – and the story of these yeses – have become the foundation of a life lived fully and fearlessly for a God who opens doors and flings wide the gates of heaven to those who call on His name and who work in accordance with His purposes. I loved it when Kristen wrote:

Deep down, I knew God was calling me to something radical. And even though radical terrified me, I was more afraid of not following God. 

Her transparency and authenticity ring like the clearest bell in a quiet chapel throughout the pages of her book. One of the hashtags we've followed as part of the launch team has been #YesInMyMess.


And here’s where the ringing of the bell resonates.

Most days, I feel like I’m pretty much all mess. Whether it’s my temper flaring over the little things; frustrations with what I've managed to not do; my opportunities for grace that are passed by; by nightfall, I look around me and see the scattered, tattered remains of the day and wonder what happened. Kristen’s words reminded me that I don’t have to organize, clean, or fix this mess before I attempt to do something for God or even come before Him. #YesInMyMess is about answering the call on our lives in spite of the mire, in spite of the disappointments, and in spite of the brokenness. It’s these very things, tied together with the small yeses, which allow God’s grace and mercy to work the miracles that showcase His glory. It’s not safe. And it’s not easy. But it’s worthy.


When you pick up Kristen’s book, you will feel the call sounding. I can’t tell you what it will be – but I think you will know. The dream you've been holding on to? The hope that you've been nurturing in your heart? The idea that you've been longing for and have begun to wonder if it’s at all possible? These things become possible with the God of yes – small or large. He’s not asking you to supply all the elements. He’s just asking you to step out in faith. Rhinestone Jesus will encourage you in those God-given dreams and hopes and show you in the most tangible of ways how small yeses can lead to the largest miracles.








I’m so very grateful to Tyndale House Publishing for providing two copies of Rhinestone Jesus for me to give away on the blog. Click on the options in the Rafflecopter Widget below to enter. I’ll be announcing the two winners on Monday, May 5th. For my birthday. Because I shouldn't be the only one getting presents that day!

You can also order the book here at Barnes and Noble (my favorite) or from Amazon (my other favorite). Some profits from the book will go to support Mercy House Kenya.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

a Rafflecopter giveaway