No matter how scattered or organized; how empty or brimming with creativity; how filled with joy or laid low by anger and frustration; how wrapped in community or wandering in self-imposed loneliness, I always find rest in the writing and grace in the embrace of Grace and welcome of friends.On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend five collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.
This week: Still
Go
I can be calm. I can be quiet. No one who knows me would tell you that I am a boundless ball of energy.
I am not a Tigger personality.
I may be an introvert,
But I am not still.
If intensity can vibrate softly, tenuously poised on tension’s edge; if ferocity can roar soundlessly; if wildness can be contained beneath the muted, glass-faced front of self-control – all the while flinging about beneath it; that would be me.
There are words and ideas I yearn for: release,
rest,
relaxation,
respite.
I don’t know how.
I am not still.
The news ticker of my mind runs laps while for now, my physical body struggles to walk complete a circuit of the local market. I am continually trying to argue and fight against this fact and turn it into a myth. I am not still.
My spirit longs to pause before the throne of grace – longs to know what it is to truly leave things there in trust. Not leave it, then come dashing back ; somehow sure that my own watch care can discern the answer that would find far better resolution and assurance in the hands that fashioned Saturn’s rings. I am not still.
After how many lessons and a journey well-marked with my own tangents and segues between point A and point next that were redeemed by grace beyond measure – how many times do I still wonder, and question, and demand, and fret, and worry?
I am not still.
And yet (bless those saving words)
He remains.
He is still here.
He has never left.
Moving through kairos time – always and everywhere altogether –
All the while, fully still and complete.
He remains.
Under His hand,
I can be still.
Stop
How to Join
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We introverts are never still in our heads, huh? ;) Oh so hard to leave the worry and care at His feet and not take it up again.
ReplyDeleteI pray that you will be healthy enough to walk that grocery store circuit soon. :)
It's a struggle for all of us to be still for it requires much humility. I'm learning - and your post speaks of my heart so beautifully. Loved this!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to this. My mind is never quite still, and yet my mouth may be still for days. My ability to pause before Him is hampered by own desires to do and go and be. I so love your heart spoken through these words.
ReplyDeleteYour comparison lists really jumped out in this piece. Our crazy to His calm. Well done. In five minutes! It's so important that we quiet not just our mouths or activity, but also our minds and our souls.
ReplyDeleteAaaah yes... the gift of Kairos time! I love this! You know, for me... at one point in my life (not too long ago!) the Lord gave me a vision while I was in prayer, yet again bringing Him a concern or burden. I saw myself laying it at His feet... but He kept picking it up and putting it between His bloodied shoulder and the wooden Cross. Like... I would say, No, no, no... I am laying this at your FEET... and He would pick it up and put it right on His wounds... I didn't like that. I didn't appreciate the visual or the thought that it was adding pressure or pain, but the truth is twofold... 1) I actually didn't like that it was not as easy to just come back in all sneaky-like and pick that thing back up again to deal with as I pleased... and 2) He already went to the Cross... carrying my Burdens... soooo.... it's pointless to keep trying to ask for it back! For me... when I find myself doing that again... I see that image and remember... His blood is already all over whatever concerns me! It's His to deal with... it's gloriously no longer mine!
ReplyDeleteLove you friend! So glad you wrote!!!
"My spirit longs to pause before the throne of grace" <---- Yes this right here is where I too want to be. It just seems I can never settle there because my thoughts and feelings run wild in my head, However, I find a bit of the stillness as I write, as I connect more with community and dig deeper in His word. Love you my sweet friend and so glad you wrote but I hate I missed you at the party last night.
ReplyDeleteI struggle in my quiet times, because my mind is racing 100 miles an hour. I have to purpose in my heart to be still, to stop the clamoring of noise that wants my attention. Have a blessed weekend!
ReplyDeleteSo much of this resonates with me. I've spent a long time learning to still my mind from obsessive thinking. I, too, keep giving things to God only to pull them back - and, like you said in the beginning - I find rest with writing. I think he must have designed us both that way! He doesn't give up on us, though, does he! And he's not surprised we're the way we are! Wishing you joy in this journey of learning to live for Him and live still! Shalom!!
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