I’ve just discovered a delightful new writing exercise: The Five Minute Friday. It’s part of the writing community with Lisa Jo Baker – tales from a Gypsy Mama. She provides a one word, and we write for five minutes, then hit publish. No editing or second guessing. Should be interesting. And daunting. And terrifying. And exhilarating.
This week: Beloved
Of course I had to give it a try. Five minute Fridays? A chance to just write and not censor and just go? Couldn’t turn that down. Of course, I didn’t discover it until Saturday. Rule breaker. Rebel. That’s me. Only encouragement from my new writer’s group gave me the go-ahead to give it a whirl anyway.
But that word. Beloved. Really? Of all the words to start with? I’d have wished for a different one. I’m not feeling very loved or very lovely at the moment (for a lot of long moments) and “beloved” just makes me prickly. So what is it with me? That I struggle so much to Be Loved? I don’t think five minutes is long enough to untangle that ball of string. No, not really.
But it makes me think about things I’m working on. Being thankful. Being real. Being authentic. All of those may eventually lead to me being in a space where I’m okay with Being Loved. I think it’s because I’m not good at receiving. I’m really not. I’m a much better giver – I love that – enjoy that to its fullest. But being on the other end – not so much. But one of the many lessons on this desert road of mine has been a strong lesson in receiving. Allowing others to give me grace, to allow God to meet my needs with human hands, to bless me through others. And to be okay with it. More than okay. To rejoice in it.