Thursday, March 6, 2014

Five Minute Friday - Willing

Five Minute FridayOn Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This week: Willing


I often write about life’s deserts here; trying to find grace and joy in them. There are times lately I feel that this stretch of parenting is my desert. I am confronted by long stretches of dryness that seem to have no relief. There is a hot sun that beats down relentlessly – exposing every inch of my inadequacies and abundant failures while creating a pressure cooker of expectation and the dry heat of longing. I’m beginning to feel as if I’ve walked on this road with no oasis in sight for a long, long time.

One of the most difficult things I’ve found on this parenting road – in this parenting desert – is how very much my daughter looks up to me. It is a blessing and a bane. A bittersweet honor that I love and fear, all at the same time. I very often wish she didn’t.

You see, my daughter has been entrusted to a woman who struggles. Who is fiercely independent (often called stubborn); who sometimes hasn’t figured out that her teenage rebellion days are over; who still bucks the system and struggles not to pick every hill to plant a flag on. This woman – this person I see reflected in the mirror – she still wants to smack everyone who makes her angry; says too many of the wrong things when her temper breaks (and it breaks often and well, trust me); she desires a gentle spirit, but has hard, hard time bending her knee.
Though I know it is often the right thing to do, I am often found in tears demanding how much of myself I will have to give up in order for my daughter to have the right model set before her. It’s silly – because why do I want to hang on to some of these things? These things that do not edify; encourage; or enhance. What would be the point in hanging on to them? And that’s just it – there is no point. Just the idea that I could. Theoretically. Just because.

Albert Einstein wisely said,
I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.
This is a road of truth that I need to take on my desert path through parenting and motherhood.

The things I am willing to give up, will not only make me a better person, they will help my daughter become a better person as well. What could be better than that? And I need to do this in the true spirit of willingness: humbly, softly, eagerly, without hesitation. Striving for the best so that she will have that to look up to. Christ is my guide, my North Star, my way. Anything I give up in exchange for a life in Him is nothing given up at all. Anything I gain as I become more like Him is everything I could possibly imagine. For me, as well as for my little one who is watching my every move.


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Lisa-Jo BakerWant to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

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  1. You have such a beautiful heart to share this. Yes. I know the feeling of wishing my little ones weren't watching me so closely...but God...God can take what they see and show them how HE transforms me. I believe they will see His work in me and pray they store it in their hearts

  2. Oh Rebekah, I hear you...being willing to do the hard things to be the parent we need to be, to set the example we need to set, to ensure that they will grow up the way they need to. I just know that when we are willing to do that, God will honor it. I love your heart for your precious girl!

  3. Rebekah,
    I hear you...yes, the blessing and the bane of being their example, but what a great motivation to go before God and ask/beg for His help and grace...many blessings to you :)

  4. "Anything I give up in exchange for a life in Him is nothing given up at all. Anything I gain as I become more like Him is everything I could possibly imagine. For me, as well as for my little one who is watching my every move." Loved this. A timely, beautiful truth that I needed to hear and be reminded of.

  5. Being willing to make changes and let things go and grow is vital to being a good mama. But so is failing and letting your kids know that grace covers a multitude of failings. Not as an excuse but as a way to see God work in the frailty, for her to know she's loved and accepted no matter what. Those are good things to teach. AND I get to see you in real life tomorrow! I'm so excited. You have no idea.

  6. I love you so and your girlie is gonna be just fine! She has you to look up to... and she sees Jesus smoothing out the rough parts and what is not to love about that? She is blessed to have you! (And yay... I get to SEE you again today!)

  7. Thank you for reminding me to be a model today.

  8. As my babies are now both adult (in age only.LOL!!) I do see a little of my not so pleasing attributes. However, I also see the way God is using all things for good in their lives. You are being a beautiful example to your girl. Teaching her that there are times we don't have it all together but He still loves us. Keep looking to Him as she keeps looking to you and like Karrilee said all will be fine.

  9. I am their role model. This is the great terror of my parenting experience. I am (once again) walking this road right there with you.

    Side note: Love and fun and joy and tears (good ones) and good insight this weekend -- all of which I hope you will bring home to share with those of us not joining you!


Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!