Five Minute Friday - Grace

If you had told me nine months ago when I first ventured into this Five Minute Friday escapade how delightfuly addicting it would be I’m not sure I would have believed you. If you had told me I would meet and become friends with some amazing women who I would never know except through the view of my laptop screen, I would have laughed and brushed your idea aside. If you had told me that those friendships would deepen and grow; that some of them would become as important as my real life relationships; that in nine months I’d be sitting across the table from a Five Minute Friday friend in my kitchen? Well, we’d have probably not been talking anymore.

But God is amazing and has His own plans that are far larger than mine. I have made tremendous friends through this wonderful online community and am thrilled to be sharing my kitchen table with one of those friends tonight. Can I tell you that this doesn’t feel like meeting someone for the first time? I feel like I’m saying hello to someone I’ve known for a while. Having Karrilee here tonight makes this kitchen into a sacred, shared space. I’m so blessed. This is the joy of this community at its best – finding and making friends that will become a real part of our lives – because of our shared faith. Because of His love.

Because no matter where we are; no matter what distance separates some or all of us, this is a fellowship of friends that gather here to write into the wee hours of the morning; then reading each others words and sharing encouragement as we go. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This Week: Grace

Go

This word tonight hits me hard. I’ve been writing so deep into the desert journey and so much of that space is intertwined with grace. Grace given and grace received. Lessons learned. Another step grown.

And yet, there are times – even now – when I feel like I’ve not learned a thing. When the edges around me that should have been softened and smoothed; rubbed to a finished shine by these experiences and glowing with grace – they’re still as hard and sharp as ever.

Just tonight, stepping to the door – the door that wasn’t supposed to be knocked on or had its bell rung because, hello, the light’s off – opening the door to small voices calling “Halloween” instead of “trick or treat” and I have a flash of irritation and annoyance. Why are you here? Why don’t you know the code that says don’t come when the light is off. Why ….

Why am I sitting here with a large bowl of candy if I didn’t think anyone was going to come by? Why can’t I smile kindly into small faces that are reveling in the pure joy of wandering about for candy and just give a kind greeting back? Without feeling that pang of exasperation. It’s such a small thing.

And it’s the small things that undo me. How many times to I stumble through my day tripping over opportunities for grace to abound and instead fall flat with impatience or anger. I am more ungraceful in my living than I would like to be and I am not proud of it.

My heart’s desire is to be an extension of the grace that was given freely to me – because so much has been given. I want to live my life in the grace by which we stand. Rejoicing and hoping and giving thanks in Him – the giver of all grace.

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Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

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Goodbye to You – Leaving the Desert

I am at the end of the desert again. It hardly seems possible. I feel like it was just two days ago I was desperately seeking encouragement from fellow writers for the unthinkable undertaking – wondering if it would be possible; wondering if this was something I could accomplish; feeling so much like He was guiding me in this direction; yet letting all my doubts and fears flow over me like water over polished rocks. Thank you for coming alongside with me.

This experiment of words, this retelling and recounting of the desert journey – it stripped me bare again. With over twenty-two thousand words I unfolded myself like I never thought possible to an audience that may or may not see this. I trust God to guide the readers here who need to see these words. And I am left with a similar feeling as before – when it was time to walk out of the desert.

I am not sure if I am ready to leave.

That may seem a strange thing – coming from a thirsty, tired, worn out desert wanderer. But here’s some of what echoes back to me from that time:

in quiet moments
i learned to love the desert.
found grace in the desert.
found the heart of my God in the desert.
found the voice that spoke to my soul
in times of need
and painful want.

there is so much want.
i want. we want. she wants.

i want to divest myself of all the wants
and simply be.

to discover the purity of
my mitochondrial existence
that comes
when want dies
when i die
when it is no longer i who live.

surrender

it's that simple.
so simple.
letting go.

There is truth in this: things are simpler in the desert. When everything is ripped away and you are left with barely necessities in your hands – and hands holding family – when you literally look to God for your daily bread and daily breath, your communion with Him is tight and close and your walk is intimate. You are at your Father’s feet and in His presence with every inhale and exhale – seeking His face and His will as you make your way through plains and passages; placing one foot in front of the other; just moving forward. When you come to the edge; standing there looking out into the rest of the world – full of promise and bright fulfillment – it’s hard not to see it as clutter for a moment. Noise. Distraction. Necessary interference that comes between your heart and the heart of God. How will you hear Him without the stillness of the desert to focus and hone your listening skills? And then I remember again:

it is the desert
and the still small voice
in the midst of the storm
that will quiet me
and sustain me
through whatever's next on this passage.

Part of the desert journey is learning to listen. Part of that intimate fellowship is knowing His voice so keenly that you can discern it in and amongst the chatter and noise of the everyday outside the desert. Because we must leave. It is not our call to stay. Our call is to go and to tell. To share. It is the sharing of ourselves, of our tangle, of our messy, everyday stories that brought us into the desert and the ones we lived through in the desert – this is what we need to tell now. This is what I need to tell now. Because through the telling and the sharing and the revealing of our hearts and the work that He is doing in our hearts; His healing; His miracles; His grace – this is how the world will be changed.

This is part of my secret that I get to tell now. Now that you have read my words and heard my stories. I still haven’t given up hope that I can change the world. I don’t believe that it’s going to be in a large and mighty way – I don’t believe that’s my call. God knows me too well for that. He’s taking this desert walking woman with a passion for words and story and asking her to tell, share, and reveal in small moments and small ways. And somehow in His hands, this is going to change something. This is going to change everything.

It’s going to change my world.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here! During the 31 Days Challenge, I'll be using the hashtags #desertjourney and #inspirationalandfaith80 if you'd like to join in or follow along. Let's continue the conversation!

Growing – Not Just Going

“Ah-ha” moments often come out of the blue and catch us off guard; smack us upside the head; right-size our world. I had a revelation like that deep in my desert time. I was reading Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wind in the Door for the hundredth (two-hundredth? three hundredth?) time. My favorite author. Her popular children’s series. The following books perhaps slightly less known that the first title, A Wrinkle in Time. Same characters. Same idea. Good vs. evil. And this time, with a cherubim – and that one not how you might imagine it at all. In the final part – the one that always grabs me up tight by the throat – Meg is desperate to save her brother’s life and must convince the farandole inside one of his mitochondria to deepen and accept its role as a mature fara. While this plot point standing alone may not make sense to the unread, what I want you to hear is the idea of growing deeper.

Deepening may have been one of my most important lessons from the desert. When the realization sunk in that I needed to be listening and learning in the desert. Stop being angry. Stop flailing about. Be still. Hear what He had to say. This was my turn to deepen and sink my roots into His heart and into the experience of what He was teaching me. This was my crossroads.

This revelation changed everything for me. Although I was sometimes still impatient and frustrated, I looked at the desert with renewed purpose; with eyes opened to new truths – the most important truth: He was going to renew me in the desert and make the changes in me that had been a long time coming. The changes that would transform my life. All the lessons that had come before shifted into focus with my transformed view.

There will be a tipping point for you in your desert if you allow the Lord to work in your life. I understand that in the beginning, it doesn’t seem like there can be purpose in the dryness or a reason for the suffering. But all these things work together to shape us and create us into the person that He has in mind – the person He wants us to be.

Maybe you’re standing at your crossroads today. Is it time for you to deepen? Is it time to release the anger and be still for just a moment?

Allow yourself to take time in His presence and ask for the reason behind your journey. He is with you here and has placed you in this time for a specific purpose. God will not leave you alone on this journey, and He will not leave you without answers, if only you will seek His face.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here!

What Friends & Family on the Outskirts Wish People in the Desert Knew

This is somewhat less familiar territory for me, and yet I know I’ve been in situations where someone I know is the one in the desert and I’m the one watching them walk through it. I think it becomes a bit different after you’ve been a desert walker yourself – you never quite lose the feel of the grit between your toes or the pounding heat on your head. Metaphorical as it may be, you just don’t forget. Nevertheless, I want to tackle the outside looking in because of the numerous wonderful people who came alongside me and my family while we were in the desert. Several of these thoughts stem from conversations I had with them.

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I can’t imagine how hard this is, but I wish you would just talk to me. Communication is a big one. It’s painfully easy to become swamped in the everyday of the desert and not come up for air. Not because you don’t want to, but because there are times that it takes everything you’ve got to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. The people in your life who are close to you, the ones Dr. Brene Brown talked about being your “move-the-body” people, can see this happening. And they want to be there for you. But they love you and respect you enough to give you the space you need. Let me add that they also love you enough to come on in if you’re quiet for too long. These people are intuitive and are watching you. They’re waiting patiently for an invitation to come in and bless you, but wait too long and you may be getting a blessing you didn’t see coming! Talk to them and share your burden. Friends like this were made for times like these.

I love you. I don’t care if you’re broke/not dressed up/having a bad hair day/been crying for three days straight, I just want to go out for coffee – and I’m treating. I don’t know about you, but when I was in my desert I found a million reasons not to see people for something as simple as coffee. I didn’t have anything appropriate to wear, I couldn’t even afford coffee, I looked like a wreck. The friends who came for me anyway – who said, “yes, I hear you, but we’re going out in spite of that” brought such moment of joy into my life. They lifted me out of the doldrums and the minutiae of the desert for a few hours and refreshed me. I’ve had the pleasure of pulling a friend or two into a coffee shop for an hour or two for a break and it is such a genuine joy for the giver. When you’re not in a desert, being a small oasis for a friend who is can be such a privilege. Desert walkers, think about this the next time a friend asks you out. God may be laying this outing on their heart – this may be their opportunity to be His hands and feet to you. Don’t allow this blessing to pass them by.

I see you. When you’re overcome by adversity in the desert, there are times when you want nothing more than to know that others still remember who you are – that they see you – not your circumstances. They do. Friends and relatives of desert walkers see nothing as clearly as the ones they love. They see the troubles that surround them and pray without ceasing that those times would end, but true friends never stop seeing the ones they love in the midst of the maelstrom. There isn’t any easy way to express this other than to say – you are seen.

I’m ending this post in the same way I did yesterday. Because they are attached. Because this is so important – no matter what side of the desert you’re standing on. More than anything, time and patience and valuable friends in desert relationships. Be patient with one another and have an abundance of grace. You can never go wrong with grace.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here!

What People in the Desert Wished Their Friends and Family Knew About the Desert

This mouthful of a title came to mind when the leader of a writing group I was in recently published a book about sickness. I thought her book – and its companion title – offered some great insights into how people and their situations are perceived when they’re sick and how they wish people would really see them.

I had some similar thoughts about living through a desert experience, and had similar conversations with friends who had both been through their own desert journeys or watched loved ones walked that road. These are some of those thoughts from one side. I’ll visit the other tomorrow.

When you’re going through a desert time in your life: lean financial times, an unexpected health scare, the loss of a loved one, an overwhelming amount of stress – it can be anything – there are some things that you may wish those around you just knew without you having to say it out loud.

Sometimes I just need to be alone. This may be especially true for the introverted desert traveler – myself included – but when the situation around you is stormy and chaotic, it can be very helpful to have some quiet time to process the situation. Some friends and family find this disturbing. They want to help. They want to reach out. They don’t want to see you suffering or spiraling into a depression. But unless your desert is actually depression (and it’s very possible that it can become a symptom along the way), it’s okay to want some time alone, and to say that out loud. Quiet time allows you to reflect and plan; meditate and pray; breathe and regroup. If you have a friend in the desert and they ask for some space, be willing to give it to them. Don’t abandon them or become offended by their asking. They love you and appreciate your being there for them, but they need some time to process this on their own too.

Sometimes blessings will come that others won’t understand. Some of the hardest things to hear when we went through out desert times were people being upset about good things that happened to us – mainly because they didn’t have context. We went for twelve weeks without any income before my unemployment finally kicked in. When it did, there was some retroactive pay involved. When we received that money, one of the things we did was replace a piece of furniture that was a hand me down on its last legs. We got a very good deal, but some people seemed to be very offended at the idea that a family who was supposed to be short on cash had a new sofa. When my husband won the grand prize at a men’s retreat that allowed our frighteningly bald tires to be replaced, there were murmurs about where we got the money for such great tires if we weren’t working. You won’t always know how God is choosing to bless your friends who are walking in the desert times, but be sure to rejoice with them. Blessings don’t mean that they’re not also struggling, and those blessings are like little oases that keep people’s hope alive in the dry times.

Underneath the dust of the desert, I’m still me. If you’re in the desert for a long period of time, it becomes very easy for friend and family to see the circumstance more than they see you. I believe this stems from their care and compassion and a desire to see you in a better situation, but it can be so frustrating when all they want to talk about is the struggle you’re going through. For those friends, desert walkers are living that struggle in the most intimate way – day in and day out. As much as we love someone to talk with us to carry the burden, it’s also refreshing for someone to just talk to us like we’re not going through a big mess. Talk about hobbies, sports, movies – whatever you talked to us about before. We’re still interested in those things, and they can do a great deal to take our mind off the mess – if only for a moment.

Walking out of the desert doesn’t mean everything becomes ideal in an instant. This is probably one of the biggest lessons I can share. It’s an amazing, beautiful thing to come to the end of your desert journey and walk into the next land that the Lord has for you. But no matter what your journey was – and especially if that desert involved finances of any kind – there’s going to be a rebuilding period. If you’ve been grieving the loss of someone in your life, you need time to heal and begin to understand what living your life without that person in it now means. If you’re dealing with a health issue, you need to go through treatment and recovery, or learn what living with a chronic condition entails. If you’ve been in a financial desert, you have a list of things that you’ve been holding off purchasing that need replacing; have savings that need replenishing; need to re-establish what living on a real budget feels like; and maybe even have some small loans that you need to repay. The end of the desert is wonderful, but there are still some more steps until restoration is complete.

More than anything, time and patience and valuable friends in desert relationships. Be patient with one another and have an abundance of grace. You can never go wrong with grace.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here!

A Lesson from the Word: Psalm 27:13-14

I saved this verse for last because it has been an anchor for me for many years. If memory serves, I connected with this verse in my early twenties during a difficult time. It may have been on a plaque in the Bible bookstore I worked at, at may have come up in a Bible study or at church. I honestly can’t remember. But I know that’s it’s been highlighted and underlined in whatever Bible I’ve carried for a long, long time.

It gives me hope because it speaks not just about the comfort and care that we will receive in our heavenly home – that place where I should ultimately be focused – but also here on earth – the place we must live through until we get home.

While I cherish the security of knowing my heavenly home and ultimate destination, there are times – especially in the desert – when you long for reassurance that God hears you now and will not leave you here on this mortal plane without some encouragement. His blessings and assurance in the desert times and in times of plenty is the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And no matter what season we’re in, we simply need to wait patiently on Him, with courage in our heart because He will answer.  He will always answer.

Wherever you are today – whatever season you are in – whatever part of the journey you are on; I pray that your heart is strengthened as you wait on the Lord.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here!

Bounce Back Saturday - See Awful as Awe-full

It’s the final Bounce Back lesson for this series. It’s hard to contemplate that I’ve almost made it through the entire month of days; writing (or posting – on those days when I planned ahead) every day. That thought ties into today’s tip so well.

#60 – See awful as aweful

There were times throughout this month when it physically hurt to go back in time and contemplate the past and everything I had been through (we had been through). I struggled again; came to realizations about things I needed to let go of; and made some significant life-changing decisions. These were good moves – and very necessary – but there were times where, frankly, it did feel awful.

The author encourages us though, to consider those moments with curiosity and a welcoming heart. I would ask you to consider the lessons God is asking you to learn and lean into those lessons to see what He has in store for you.

Remember when He said this in Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

He didn’t say it was going to be easy. He didn’t say it was going to come without some work. He didn’t say it was going to happen without some shaping and sacrifice.

By living with the intent to acquire more wonder we might just find that life – even in the midst of desert times – can become more wonderful.

Here’s something that will inspire a little awe and make you think again about what the desert might be doing for you. I love these guys – the Skit Guys. And no matter how many times I watch this one: The Chisel – I always get a bit choked up (It's eleven minutes, but it's eleven good minutes). Imagine that it’s you – not Tommy – God is having the conversation with. Tell me that’s not a little awe full.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! Want more in the 31 Days of Lessons in the Desert series? Just click here!