Bounce Back Saturday – Find Your Bounceable People

This past week was a challenge for me to write as I dealt with different relationship issues from the desert time. Some good, some hard, but all with important lessons that are tied into this Saturday’s Bounce Back Lesson.

#15 – Find your bounceable people

In the Bounce Back book, the author cites Aristotle who speaks of human creatures as biologically social animals – our “first instinct” is to be near and around other people. She goes on to talk about how in the middle to trauma and crisis, being around other people may not be the first instinct that we respond to.

photo by manuere

I know that was true for me. Time and again, I folded into myself – hurting, feeling beaten, feeling vulnerable, not willing to risk another step out, not wanting to hear another person reject me (for whatever reason). But so many studies – and so many experiences tell us that hiding away is not as healthy as seeking support. The key is: where is that support coming from?

Salmansohn references Dr. Dina Carbonne of Simmons College who studied the secrets of people who were successful in rebounding from crisis situations and difficult times. She consistently found that “Resilient people identify those who are available trustworthy, and helpful. Then they go towards this light.”

The people that care for us and help us are the light at the end of our tunnel.
So when you’re deep in the middle of the muck, how do you determine who’s good to be around and who you might want to call later when things are better? Think of the people who are cheering for you not to just get better or to get out of whatever circumstances are weighing you down, but cheering for you to become the best person you can be through and in spite of the circumstances. Who makes you happy to be with? Who do you miss the moment that they’ve walked away? Who do you find yourself wanting just one more hour with when you’re having a really good conversation?

These are your bounceable people. This is who to surround yourself with.

Balance is important, so while you’re in a desert time or going through a rough patch, make sure you have enough time to yourself for reflection and relaxation – but be very sure to give yourself time with your bounceable people – whether via email, Facebook, on the phone, over a cup of something warm and soothing, or just hanging out on the couch together.

Going through the rough times together will deepen your relationship and strengthen your bond in a lasting, meaningful way.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. During the 31 Days Challenge, I'll be using the hashtags #desertjourney and #inspirationalandfaith80 if you'd like to join in or follow along. Let's continue the conversation!