ten thousand miles of grace

Photo by Clarita

ten thousand miles of grace.
i need
ten thousand miles of grace.
and even then
i'm not sure that would be enough
to cover the mistakes i know i've made,
or the blows that leave me reeling.

on the silver screen
it's so easy to wreak havoc miles wide;
then recite some beautifully scripted line -
leaves them breathless saying:
"you had me at hello."

hello.
goodbye.
family.
friend.
beginning.
end.
it's those deceptively simple words
that should mean one thing
and one thing only -
but somehow carry the weight
of all my experience
plus all your experience
divided by all the echoes of silence and assumption between us.

and i'm so tired now.
so tired.
can't keep fighting an uphill battle
to be understood;
to be accepted;
to be loved.
just like this.

complete in my imperfectness;
draped in my faults and insecurities;
struggling to be better.
(just a little bit every day)
turning once again
to make the right choice;
not the innate choice.
(no, that's just my sarcasm leaking through)

the right road
is a good road.

it's a really good road.

but it's a long road.
and right now
i need
ten thousand miles of grace
to get where i need to go.

This is not new. It's a few years old in fact. But I thought about it relative to my last Five Minute Friday post - realizing that I (we, dare I say?) have been given so much grace. And that it's possible that we're on our way down the good road.