Thursday, March 28, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Broken

Five Minute Friday A little early this week, but still, this is where a brave and beautiful bunch gather every week to find out what comes out when we all spend five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing ‘em over here.

This week: Broken

Go

Broken. Hah! There’s not one piece of me that’s not broken. That’s how I feel most days. Like I’m walking about in a fabulous masquerade – fooling everyone (and maybe no one) with a competent, cohesive, complete outside – when beneath the layers of all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips is nothing but parts held together by grace, an ounce and a half of prayer, and a good measure of duct tape.

After a job that nearly broke me into a million little pieces, I spent three years on a desert journey I didn’t even realize I was on until maybe halfway through. Three years of God guiding, leading, nurturing, teaching me – when I finally woke up to what was going on – it was amazing. Amazing grace and love spilling down. So much so that I almost didn’t want to leave. I was afraid to get back to real life where I would need to be whole and functioning in one piece again. Sometimes, it just seemed so much easier to be stripped bare as desert living calls for – casting all else aside and walking day by day, moment by moment with your Lord and relying on Him for every waking need.

It was easier, once I had admitted it and owned it, to be broken in His presence and abandon all to Him.

I’m so blessed that His grace abounds. And He continues to remind me that while some things change – some things can remain the same. I don’t have to lose everything that I learned to love while wandering with Him in the desert. And I don’t have to lose the brokenness – and with it – my whole-hearted reliance on Him. It is not – as I once thought – weakness, or less-than-ness, incompetence – all those things that the world tries to convince me that brokenness is.

It is simply surrender. In the most loving, complete, capable, fulfilling way that it can be. It is handing over everything that I cannot do, that I cannot be, that I cannot control to the One who can. Who sees beyond sight and moves beyond chronos in that infinite gift of kairos that we may one day experience.  In this surrender, in this brokenness, His strength is made manifest. May I remain broken for Him and in His service. Selah.

Stop

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10 comments :

  1. Sometimes that being stripped bare, totally broken, is when the healing happens.
    Thanks for sharing.

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  2. An important word, "surrender", when we think about the the timing of God...thanks for sharing!

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  3. Again my wife has such wonderful way with words and prose. She is a wonderful light in the darkness of this world.

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  4. Oh such a profound and wonderful truth--when you have broken and learned to press into God, you never want to go back. You don't want to unlearn that and go it alone any more. Bless you for bringing that truth.

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  5. "Sometimes, it just seemed so much easier to be stripped bare as desert living calls for – casting all else aside and walking day by day, moment by moment with your Lord and relying on Him for every waking need"
    Yes, thank you for saying this. I have thought this so many times, but not in such a beautiful worded way. Thank you.

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  6. "It is simply surrender."

    Oh yes, to surrender to the King... the most beautiful thing we can do!

    Janelle Marie

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  7. One of your first sentences really got me! "There's not one piece of me that's not broken." I think that's true of a lot of us. We need Him "every hour," like the old hymn says!

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  8. I love the last paragraph. I really needed to read this tonight. Thank you!

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  9. Great post. Laying our hearts out for others to see is hard but through your words we get to know you better. Good job

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  10. Blessing each of you for stopping by and for taking the time to leave your comments. Each one is taken in, cherished, and tucked away.

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Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!