Thursday, May 23, 2013

Five Minute Friday: View

Five Minute FridayFive Minute Fridays are the beautiful, unscripted moments that happen between Thursday night at the FMFParty on Twitter and for days and days after as post after post of inspiration and encouragement gets linked up at Lisa Jo Baker’s site here. Writers and joy abound and it’s a great place to be.

This Week: View

Go

It wasn’t where I wanted to be. In fact, I would have rather been almost anywhere else on the planet. But I’d promised. Promised my daughter that we’d go to the fair that year. It’d been a few years … we’d had some lean desert times and hadn’t done anything fun for a while. But that year – that year we had free tickets and a little money – so we should go. Right?

Almost right. Except a few months before, I’d had a conversation with my doctor – the first one in seven years who had listened seriously to my concerns about joint issues and pain. He’d run the right tests – but mostly listened, which in my opinion was worth so much more, and we had answers. Complicated answers. Answers we’re still working to unravel. But answers that mean walking is not something I take lightly or for granted anymore. I can walk into work. I can walk (mostly) through Costco. I can walk into church. Much more than that and it’s just not happening for me. So walking all day around the largest fair west of the Mississippi – well, that was hardly even in my range of possibility. But I’d promised.
From the Grange Exhibits - My favorite part of the fair
So plan B. Or C, D, or wherever this fell in the line of plans.

Plan W. W for wheelchair. Might as well have been plan S – as in smash my pride to bits. Or plan H – for humiliation should I run into any living person that I’ve ever known. Or plan O – as in “oh my goodness there’s no way on this earth I’m getting into one of those things at my age.”

I wrestled and fought (like a lion on the inside) and prayed so hard (God, would you please consider just a small miracle before September of this year?), but in the end, went to the Fair in the chair. After about thirty minutes of sitting tensely, I loosened up and admitted that everyone wasn’t stopping to stare right at me. My husband and daughter had no qualms or embarrassment about pushing me around (no, that was all me). And in the end, the view from the chair made me reconsider a lot of things I take for granted. And walking is the very least of them.

I’m not permanently trapped in a wheelchair. And I’m working on getting better. I still have so much available to me and going for me. Not everyone does. And for a few hours that day, I got to consider what it’s like to not have everything at your disposal. To see life for just a moment from the viewpoint of someone who might be considered the least of these. It changed me.

To be continued …

Stop

In all fairness to the rules, I have to stop this here. It's a good thing I can still type fairly quickly. But I've been wanting to explore this topic, so I'm sure I'll be back someday soon. Stay tuned.

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10 comments :

  1. Rebekah! I know the issue of join pain all too well. I started when I gained the last 40lbs after my pregnancies. I am not about 60lbs overweight. It hurts just getting off the couch to walk in the kitchen. I was diagnosed with the fibromyalgia a few years back. When I lost 18lbs a few years ago, it started to get better, but alas here I am again. Not that your issues are related to weight at all. But I know about the pain. I'll be praying for you! Will you pray for me?

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  2. So insightful, Rebekah. So tender. Thank you for sharing your heart, and broadening my view.....thank you for inspiring me to be exactly who I intend!

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  3. You amaze me. You just continue to grow in grace and elegance regardless of what life throws at you. You inspire.

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  4. Bless you dear, praying for you.

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  5. Praying for you, and you are amazing!!!

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  6. What an interesting point of view, thanks so much for sharing! Sometimes it takes swallowing our pride to see things from a different perspective.

    Thanks for stopping by to take in my view earlier!

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  7. It does change perspective, doesn't it? I was in sad shape when pregnant with #3 and had to submit to the chair for a family trip to a Mariners game. I felt kind of pitiful. And in a crowd like that -- and at the fair -- it's a little disconcerting to spend the day staring at everyone else's navels. Sometimes I got special treatment; sometimes I was ignored; sometimes I was given sad little smiles by passers-by. An experience that will stick with as yours will with you. Looking forward to seeing how far you explore it.

    (And as a completely unrelated sidenote: my security word was "dolmens" which is what I happened to teach about in my French class this week)

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  8. Powerful and honest post my friend! So proud of you for overcoming and keeping your promise! Praying for complete healing!

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  9. Wow, beautiful, heartful post lady. You are an amazing mamma. Prayers for healing coming your way!!

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  10. Rebekah, what a gift you have for descibing the emotional pain and distress chronic physical pain causes.

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Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!