Lately, I’ve been finding myself bogged down; lost in the minutiae of the everyday; consumed by the pain of my daily life; stressed out by teachers and school administrators who are stuck inside their little unimaginative boxes; run off the track and into a rut and I didn’t even notice it. Until I looked back at my blog (always a good indicator of where my head is at) for May and it was a solid list of Five Minute Fridays. So, on the one hand – cheers – stayed consistent with that and kept writing. On the other hand – grrrr – time to get off my duff, and get focused again. Time to release the stress and road blocks and get the words flowing.
On the way out the door this morning, I grabbed a little book that Coldwater Creek mailed out several years ago as part of their branding program. Wisdom from a Life in Bloom. Chock full of great quotes and tidbits. It’s going to be my jumping off point for a while …
Learning to get real …
We are the hurdles we leap to be ourselves
I don’t know how many people will look at this quote and see themselves. I see me all over it. I’m not one to let people or circumstances stand in my way. I will grit my teeth and go toe to toe with adversity with the odds against me – determined to win; determined not to take no for an answer. I am sure that I will find a way to make it happen. My old boss and friend who passed away recently liked to tell people, “If you don’t tell her she can’t do it, eventually she’ll figure out a way to make it happen.” And as long as I have external opposition, this is true.
It’s when those messages of doubt and difficulty begin within that things come slamming to a halt.
I am the highest hurdle I will ever have to leap.
The older I get, the quicker I get from point A to point B and find it easier to release those things that burden me as I’m on my way to a better self. For example, I oftentimes wrestle with being a good example for my daughter. I find myself wondering out loud how much of myself I need to lose in order to provide a good reflection for her – and to be honest – sometimes I get a little angry about it. Until I stop and pause and ask myself what I’m so desperate to hang on to and why. Sometimes I cling to powerful negative attributes in my life because despite being destructive, they have managed to be sources of strength through some hard times. In reality, the preferable course is to find my true source of strength, and cling harder there (to the rock that is higher) – shedding all else for the sham that it is.
I will be myself when I can fully release myself to be God’s creature and God’s creation. Reveling in grace and in His love – totally dependent on Him for all aspects of what it means to be my best self.
I love Philippians 4:4-9 for this very reason. This is where I want to dwell. This is what I want to strive for. This is what I want to remember. This is what is real:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.