This Week: Broken
It would be so easy for me to tell you about all the things that are wrong with me. And I could start way back. Way. Back.
Memories of separateness and disconnectedness that started with a clothespin in kindergarten. Isolation that continued with a lizard hidden with ill intent in elementary school (what? this phobia doesn’t come from nowhere, folks). One misunderstood mistake in Junior High that made me a pariah for months – over a table. Pain seeps through my life like water going to ground in dry, parched earth. It gets worse. There are things I don’t write about; things I barely talk about; things I won’t even acknowledge in my journal because writing them down makes them too real.
But not tonight.
Because despite all the hurt, and the pain, and the deep dark places, this is what you need to know about me:
I am stronger in the broken places.
I used to love to quote Invictus by William Earnest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Like that’s what made me strong. Me. And my will to survive. But the older I got, and the more I went through, the more I realized, it was not about me surviving. It was not about me thriving in difficult circumstances. It wasn’t about me at all.
I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand on the earth. Job 19:25 NIV
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 NIV
Let anything that I have come through, let anything that I have survived, let anything that I have been given grace to overcome, stand simply as a testimony to the power of Christ in my life, and what my God is able to do.
Broken and poured out, my life is His.
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