Thursday, November 14, 2013

Five Minute Friday - Tree

Five Minute Friday
On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.  

This Week: Tree

Go

I watch her growing. Every day it’s a little bit more. A little bit better. A little bit more than I’m ready for. There are dips and lapses – of course there are – what else would growing up be if not a challenge to rise and rise again.

Tonight, she slipped up and something not-so-little-girlish slipped out from between her lips. Her eyes met mine in the dark; in the rearview mirror; she saw my eyebrow go up – that Spock-esque look that took me years in front of a mirror in junior high to master. “But I caught it,” she cried, “I changed it.” I nod. “But I know what you were saying anyway, right?” She slumps. Tears fill those eyes that, even in this dim light, I know twinkle green. They threaten to spill over. I sigh.

“You are more your mother’s daughter sometimes than I wish you were.”

She rubs her head soft on my shoulder. I feel the whisper of still-baby fine hair tickle my neck. “What’s that mean, Mama?” her voice is still soft and careful. I explain that I know where that not-so-girlish word came from. She’s heard it from me – heard me toss that phrase out before, I’m sure more often than I’d like to count. I tell her that it’s a choice she has to make, but that it’s part of my fault too. Can’t ask her to not do something she’s seeing right in front of her.

“How does all this mean that I’m yours and you know it?”

I laugh – that’s almost too easy. I tell her I would know it because she’s sassy and spunky and can’t possibly belong to anyone else being like that. Suddenly, she’s all little girl again, dissolving into laughter in the back seat trying to decipher exactly what spunky means.

You hear the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

No kidding. My little apple landed on my roots. My crumply, wrinkly, messed up, dirty roots. I wrestle daily with this dilemma – how to be the kind of tree that I want her to fall near and grow up under. How can I be a mother and still be such a mess? Right – still human. Still vulnerable. Still in need of a Savior.

I’m grateful every day that I have One who went to a tree and hung there, bound by nothing more than love surrendered so that in my crumply, wrinkly, dirty mess, I can turn to Him again, and again for mercy and grace. And the lessons I need to raise this apple up into her own little tree.

Stop


Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV

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Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

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26 comments :

  1. Oh, how grateful I am for that life that ended on a tree. Lovely post, Rebekah!

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  2. It's good that your correction still causes her eyes to well up. Sounds like you've got a good apple there. Keep striving to be the right tree, but know that she thinks you already are.

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    1. Your words mean a lot Rachael. I often feel like the world's worst example, but even in that, just have to keep striving. Thank you!

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  3. My daughter is just three, but I can relate to this post sooooo much. As fun as it is to watch her become her own person and start to emulate my good qualities, the bad ones leave me humbled. But you hit the nail on the head...we're all sinners in need of a Savior. There are moments when I have to stop, apologize to her, and teach her the right thing. And isn't it so sweet for our momma hearts when they make that right choice? Such beautiful words tonight, friend! Blessings and happy Friday to you! :)

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    1. From the moment they arrive, they grasp our hearts and we're never really free, are we? Just need to let her be free enough to be herself and trust that the foundation we have been building will always remain. Thanks Mel!

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    1. Thank you Traci :) Happy to have you visiting here as a writer and my designer-in-residence!

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  5. She is her mother's daughter. She too, when faced with her depraved heart and imperfections, will learn to look up to the Bigger Tree that you are both under and be so thankful for His Grace that also made her the daughter of the King through Christ.

    Once again I am amazed by your writing. Love you.

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    1. Love you girl - we know all about grace, don't we? A common topic in our conversations. So grateful for it - and for you.

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  6. This is so powerful my friend! I love this... and yes - have lived it! We all do... but thank God we are grafted in and our job is really not to be the best tree... but to point them, as you said - to the One who hung on a tree for us... to the One who frees us of our messes and washes us white as snow!

    Hugs and grace...
    for both of you girlies! <3

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    1. That's a reminder this mama's heart needs - not to be the best tree - I'm just showing the way. Hugging you back!

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  7. I'll have to tell you a story that relates to this - in private. o)

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  8. Love everything about this post. The writing. Language. Story. Truth. I also have a weakness with word choice. I've told my kids' teachers that if they hear anything inappropriate spoken to just assume they learned it from me. Really- horrible. I'm making imperfect progress though! Praise God for his mercy and grace. "what else would growing up be if not a challenge to rise and rise again." Amen, Sister!

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    1. It's good to write these things so I feel less alone. Not that I want anyone else to be in my mess, but I need to remember that I'm not the only one struggling with this mess. So many times the "you two?" is a grace note in and of itself.

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  9. I love this post...i love where you went with this...its funny how the things we hear our kids say mimmic the heart they've heard in us...sounds like your little apple has a wise mother...this post is beautifully written. Thanks

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    1. Thanks for visiting Summer - I love meeting new FMF writers. Your words bless. Have a great weekend.

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  10. Rebekah I read your post earlier this morning but could not find the words to comment then and I still can't. Just know that you spoke directly to my heart.

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    1. I just want to send you a huge hug. I'm so glad. I can't wait to share our words and experiences in real life some day. Praying you have a blessed weekend friend!

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  11. Dropping by from Lisa Jo's FMF...

    I love your post. Seeing the innocence in our kids even when they're as ornery as we are is so fun! (although I would never admit it- they get it from daddy...LOL) God gives us the kiddos we know best how to handle- because they're JUST LIKE US!!

    Be blessed!

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    1. Yay! So fun to connect with new FMF writers I haven't met yet. I hear you and agree - God give us the kids we can handle. I also think He gives us the kids that help teach us! Have a great weekend.

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  12. This is beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. I often cringe and what I'm teaching with my life at times. Thanks for the encouragement her to both "watch it" and "own up to it" when I goof and get it thrown back at me. Those apples indeed don't fall far.

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    1. Oh Amy, if I don't own up to it (which I have to ALL THE TIME), I don't feel like I can teach her anything. Right there with you. It's beautiful and terrifying. But I need her to know I make mistakes too. Therefore grace!

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  13. Oh man, I feel this all the time. My girls ugg they picked up all my bad behaviors. So thankful for a savior that loved me enough to die for me. Beautiful post, I have tears.

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    1. Thank you sweet Jenn. I have a hard time imagining you with bad behaviors, but I get it ;) And our girls - doesn't it seem like that's the stuff they latch on to? I'm always asking "why don't you remember the good stuff!"

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Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!