Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Let It Go (A Three Word Wednesday Post)
As I join up with the indomitable Beth for the Three Word Wednesday, there is only one person I’m writing to. And it’s not you. Please feel free to eavesdrop here. Stop a while and be the fly on the wall. If you see yourself in these letters and phrases, go ahead, read them to yourself. But don’t think for one second that I’m writing them to you. If I could type and look in a mirror, I’d be doing just that.
I’m almost hesitant to bring it up – I don’t want cheers of encouragement in this endeavor; I don’t want any “you go girls” or any such nonsense because frankly, it will just frustrate me more. I just need to say this as a reminder. Because I’m trying to be a better reflection. And a better tree. And a better mother. A better woman. A better human.
Let It Go
Have you seen how many times I’ve written that here? Want to guess how many times it’s actually happened? What is it about the clinging to things had; things past; things remembered that makes the release so difficult. In my experience, the things I need to let go of that I’m clinging tightest too are not the admirable, honorable, desirable qualities and characteristics that I want to strive for. They’re the little things that I think everyone else has forgotten. When they’re cheering for the accomplishments and focusing on the achievements, they forget to look under the bed and in the back corners of the closets to the things that I’ve tucked away – hoping that no one will notice.
Let It Go
Sometimes it's burdens. Somehow I’m arrogant enough to think I can carry them alone; stumble along in the dark and the cold on my own strength; searching in the dark with my own understanding.
Sometimes it's regret. Wanting to live fully in the moment, but realizing that I left something undone; something unsaid, someone unattended to. I pause in the momentum and look back. And the might have been is overwhelming.
Sometimes it's expectations. My own. The ones I think others have of me. These millstones I choose to pick up – I don’t even know how to stop. For all my carefree attitude and dismissal of what others think, expectations still haunt me.
Sometimes it's someone else's junk that you have absolutley no control over. I am the oldest child. A big sister. A mom. I have been the caretaker, the peacemaker, the problem-solver, the stratgizer, the fixer-upper, (Lord help me) the doormat, and the glue - all in the name of making it work out. For everyone else. It has been bred into me and feels like it is in my nature to do this. I don't know if I can do it anymore. For everyone. Because that's the scope I tend to look at when I see the problems. Everyone.
Let It Go
It is weary work to carry the burden of expectation, regret, the assumption of strength. We were never meant to do this alone.
Come to me, all of you who are weary and over-burdened, and I will give you rest! Put on my yoke and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 Phillips NT
I feel there is more to be said, and I may pick it up another day. But to be honest, the weight of this is bearing down, and I and trying desperately take my own advice.
Let It Go
I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.
I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!