Behind the Scenes - A Sushi Date (Four Years in the Making)

We had made a deal to go out for sushi. It was going to be our thing. We talked about it, planned it, and determined that it was going to happen. Four (or five, but who’s counting) years later, it actually happened.

Some friendships are predicated on time spent together. They grow by the bonding and investment of time spent, projects worked on, experiences shared. I have friendships like this and they are priceless. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But every once in a rare while something else comes along. Like Kristen.

We met when our kids were in preschool together – her youngest and my only – not even in the same class. We sat on the Board together, volunteered in the classroom, and participated in the fundraising events. Casual conversations led to discoveries of things we had in common: our love of writing, reading, music, certain specific British shows, and sushi. We became Facebook friends and emailed occasionally – we even shared a book group for the length of several novels. But the one thing we never seemed to have much of was time. Time together, just for us, just as friends, to do that thing that friends do together – grow.

And yet we did. Through the emailed conversations, quick requests for prayer, catching up over curious questions and curious wine at book group, our friendship grew. She has always been someone with whom I felt camaraderie with; someone with whom I could take down the veil; someone to whom I could show the me that I don’t always let out of the box. And I never really questioned it. It was a gift.

Tonight at dinner, it was a gift again. The conversation was more than serpentine or rabbit trail. It was positively Rubik’s cube – as we bounced from one topic to another pinging from the hilarity of the sushi selection into the depths of soul-wrenching that family can bring to the “why” of celebrations that are not necessarily connected with our history. I know there were tears in both our eyes at some point during the course of the night and that at more than one point I laughed out loud like I have not laughed in a very long time. At one point, the conversation sparked into marketing strategy that got me started on a road almost I’d forgotten (almost forgotten how much I loved it), and I looked at her and said, “I have no idea where that came from.” A very good friend will do that for you.

I feel like I’ve been telling stories of friends and friendships lately, and these stories are important. Not just because of how friendships can sustain us and encourage us through the changing tides of our lives, but because not all friendships look the same. They don’t start the same, they don’t evolve the same, and they don’t end the same. They are as varied and variegated as the people we are in relationship with, and that variation is so important to cultivating who we are and who we become.

Is there a special friendship in your life that has grown deep without the traditional watering? Cherish it. Do you have others that you see around you that you wish were more? Invest in them. We are more together than we are apart, bound tighter in our faith and knowledge of Him when we have others who walk with us along the way, and will simply laugh louder and longer when we have someone to share our secrets and dreams with. Friendship. This is a gift.

I'm linking up with Crystal Stine and company again today; joining the Behind the Scenes link up –  where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Five Minute Friday - Tree

On Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week. This blessed, beautiful place where we open our hearts and let words and tears and the inner workings of our lives bleed and flow and dance across the virtual pages. Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.  

This Week: Tree

Go

I watch her growing. Every day it’s a little bit more. A little bit better. A little bit more than I’m ready for. There are dips and lapses – of course there are – what else would growing up be if not a challenge to rise and rise again.

Tonight, she slipped up and something not-so-little-girlish slipped out from between her lips. Her eyes met mine in the dark; in the rearview mirror; she saw my eyebrow go up – that Spock-esque look that took me years in front of a mirror in junior high to master. “But I caught it,” she cried, “I changed it.” I nod. “But I know what you were saying anyway, right?” She slumps. Tears fill those eyes that, even in this dim light, I know twinkle green. They threaten to spill over. I sigh.

“You are more your mother’s daughter sometimes than I wish you were.”

She rubs her head soft on my shoulder. I feel the whisper of still-baby fine hair tickle my neck. “What’s that mean, Mama?” her voice is still soft and careful. I explain that I know where that not-so-girlish word came from. She’s heard it from me – heard me toss that phrase out before, I’m sure more often than I’d like to count. I tell her that it’s a choice she has to make, but that it’s part of my fault too. Can’t ask her to not do something she’s seeing right in front of her.

“How does all this mean that I’m yours and you know it?”

I laugh – that’s almost too easy. I tell her I would know it because she’s sassy and spunky and can’t possibly belong to anyone else being like that. Suddenly, she’s all little girl again, dissolving into laughter in the back seat trying to decipher exactly what spunky means.

You hear the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

No kidding. My little apple landed on my roots. My crumply, wrinkly, messed up, dirty roots. I wrestle daily with this dilemma – how to be the kind of tree that I want her to fall near and grow up under. How can I be a mother and still be such a mess? Right – still human. Still vulnerable. Still in need of a Savior.

I’m grateful every day that I have One who went to a tree and hung there, bound by nothing more than love surrendered so that in my crumply, wrinkly, dirty mess, I can turn to Him again, and again for mercy and grace. And the lessons I need to raise this apple up into her own little tree.

Stop

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV

How to Join
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Listen To Me (A Three Word Wednesday Post)

He moves in my words, and although I’m a bit overwhelmed and blessed to learn when I’ve ministered to others, or when the words He gives me have touched them, I’m moved and humbled even more when it’s me He calls again – so often with my own words – and beckons me to learn a new lesson. Or shall we say a lesson again.

It is the apex at which I most often break. That which would remain if you boiled down the question: what is the one thing that might make her behave the most like a mad woman? The one thing that will upend me when I can hold on with patience for all else.

Listen to me

I have never claimed to be a patient person – it is beyond an Achilles Heel. This is not a tendon – it is possibly an entire limb. My devastating weakness tied into one of the things with which I struggle most. I am impatient and I am often angry. Simmering beneath the surface of my daily calm – that part is not insincere. I am generally quiet and collected and content. Until you push just hard enough.

And they all push

They don’t listen. This is life. It happens. I get that. I don’t pretend to be the center of some grandiose universe; expecting everyone to revolve around me. I don’t mark time for others. I don’t measure the steps of those near me. But if I ask you to hang up your clothes, remember to not show my child a particular movie, or for the love of Pete, flush the toilet so all the junk goes down, I rather expect you’ll do it. Especially that last one.

Time to look in the mirror

As I stood fuming in the women’s bathroom at work; practicing my yoga breathing and ticking off, with growing annoyance, the list of “why can’t they just listen tos” that had filled my last twenty-four hours, I felt one of His gentle nudges. I wish I could say I responded with immediate grace and humility, but it was more along the lines of “really Lord, because all I’m asking for is a fresh bowl. And clothes not on the floor.” He pauses. He is silent.

Be still and know

Not three words, but the God of the universe doesn’t have to conform to our rules now, does He? Echoes of what I’ve so often said, “I just asked you to …” “I just wish you would …” “Why won’t you just listen to me?” How many times have I read and heard the voice of God with simple requests asking me for something. “If you love me …” How often do I instead, casually careen through my life; not paying attention; not listening. And how many times in His infinite grace, wisdom, and patience, has He remained in place, waiting without time for me to come back. Listen to me.

Love me with all your passion and intelligence

Love others as well as you love yourself

Be generous to the poor

Do what is fair and just to your neighbor

Be compassionate and loyal in your love

Be still and know

Listen to me

He promises peace, wisdom, and a Helper who will never leave to those who love Him, keep His commands, and listen. There is refuge and strength for those who are still and quiet. There is redemption from a steadfast God for those who love justice and mercy in humility. How is this not worth one moment of stopping my catechism of wants and silencing the lists of my desires?

Okay Lord.

You got me.

I am listening


I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up (so happy to be here, finally!) and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Passages quoted from Matthew 22:37, Proverbs 28:27, Micah 6:8 MSG, Psalm 46:10 NIV

Behind the Scenes - Online Friendship in Real Life

Four months ago, I wrote a Behind the Scenes piece about getting organized and cleaning up – wonderful preparations for a room that was far overdue for an overhaul while getting ready to meet a new friend. Months turned into weeks. Weeks turned into days. And before I knew it, it was hours before this in real life meeting was about to take place.

From the moment we discussed the idea – meeting up after her trip to Allume and attending Women of Faith together – and I threw out, “I would love to have you come and stay with us while you’re in town,” I was excited.

Karrilee & my daughter at her school

And then I was terrified.

I may write freely and with expression; I may strive for transparency here on this pixelated canvass; I may do my best to peel back my layers, lay down masks, and share the experiences that have changed my life in order to give others hope, but none of that changes the fact that I am an intensely private person with a carefully guarded world.

I have written here about my own challenges with community, and struggles with relationships with woman that have almost wrenched me undone. I am slow and careful, even with those who are near to my heart. I have boundaries. I’ll laugh and say this: let’s be honest, I probably have issues. Voluntary new people are hard for me.

I had hopes this would be different. She was the first one to say hello when I ventured into the Five Minute Friday Twitter party. Figuring out that we lived in the same general region provided an instant connection for me to grasp, and we continued to have conversations on Twitter and on our blogs. Those conversations led to friending each other on Facebook and more connections. As we wrote, we found one thing after another that we had in common and #kindredspirits became a favorite hashtag.

In the days leading up to her arrival, I tried to pack my days full of preparation so that I couldn’t dwell on any nervousness or overanalyzing (because that’s what my brain will do). On the big day, her plane arrived a little early and the text, we’re here in baggage claim, was a gift in surprise, because instead of a casual drive up to the airport with time to kill (and overanalyze things)  I had to leap into my car and focus on arriving at the car lot in one piece.

Can I tell you that saying hello in person and falling into a hug was the most natural thing – as if I were picking her up at the airport for the fortieth time, not the first? As we drove back home, the conversation flowed so naturally it felt like breathing. Even introducing her to my not-quite-perfect home didn’t feel as difficult as I imagined it might have.

She has a family structure similar to my own, a husband and just one girl, and my girl fell head over heels for her (that’s the two of them outside her school in the picture above). We enjoyed the conference together, learning, listening to women we’d been waiting so long to hear, worshiping in His presence.

I don’t know if every encounter with an online friend will feel like this – a seamless blending where it seems our very heartbeats slip into a shared rhythm – but I’d like to think this is what I’ll strive for as I do this again; what you can strive for as you meet your own writing friends in real life.

This community we participate in, it opens wide and welcomes all. It has its ebbs and flows – how can it not? It is only comprised of vulnerable, human women, complete in all their flaws. But between those ebbs and flows, God’s grace weaves in; twining itself about and through our hearts to wrap over and cover those misteps that might occur. His grace also wraps us close to knit our hearts and allows us to share the gift of His words and His spirit when we come together in His name to praise, grow, and build community together.

Karrilee, you have been an incredible gift to me this year, and I am so happy and blessed to have had the gift of meeting you in real life and sharing time with you. Of course, now that it’s happened, I’m just plain greedy and want more. I stare at the road signs for I-90 and dream of heading over the pass – just keep driving past Snoqualmie to the other side to see my new friend. All in His time. Until then, we’ll stay connected in all our technological ways, and I will continue to be blessed by your friendship and your encouragement. Love you friend ♥

I'm linking up with Crystal Stine and company again today; joining the Behind the Scenes link up –  where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

My friend Karrilee blogs at Abiding Love, Abounding Grace. She consistently opens my eyes to new truths about God and reminds me to celebrate the life He has given by Speaking Life, Being Love, and Shining On. You should visit her. Immediately. I'm so serious about that!

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

For Mercy's Sake

Way back in the warmer weather of August, I saw an invitation on (in)courage that made me want to leap. They were inviting writers and bloggers to join together to raise funds for an incredible project called Mercy House Kenya.

In 2010, Mercy House was founded by a woman who had been sponsored as a child through Compassion International and who had completed their leadership program. Maureen Owino was 27, single, and determined to offer an alternative to help young women in her country who were seeking abortions because of unwanted pregnancies that occurred when they were forced into prostitution to support their families.

Maureen connected with blogger, Kristen Welch, during Kristen’s 2010 trip to Kenya, and the two have been working in tandem to support this ministry ever since. Maureen is executive director in Kenya while Kristen and her family work to raise money and awareness here in the US.

The young women in the Rehma program (rehema means mercy in Swahili) receive prenatal and post-natal care, excellent nutrition, counseling, education, and spiritual guidance. They are trained in marketable skills that will allow them to support themselves in their community.

When I first became aware of this opportunity to get involved, I was so excited and looked at the five phases of the project to see which one would be the best match. It didn’t take too long to come to that conclusion. Phase 4, Advance Mercy, was about providing a computer lab to enhance the education of the girls, and since my non-blogging day-job has me working in technology in education, I knew this was going to be my phase.

Except it’s not now.

You see, today, November 11, was supposed to be the launch day for the Phase 4 team. Today was supposed to be the day that 17 bloggers who hadn’t written before would share the story of Mercy House and invite their readers to join in the support of Mercy House and a new computer lab for its residents.

photo by Bess Brownlee

But the Spirit has been moving in the hearts of readers, writers, and those interested in doing His good work here and now, and Phase 4 was funded several weeks ago in mid-October! In just 40 days, the (in)courage community and its readers raised over $21,000 for our sisters in Kenya for a needed van, classroom, generator, and computer lab.

So what’s left?

Phase 5 is a really big deal. And it officially kicks off in December. Because we’d love to give these girls a truly amazing Christmas present. We’d like to help give them a new home. A second home will allow the Mercy House staff to expand its reach, and in the future will help house the offices, classrooms, and labs.

It’s a huge project. Over $46,000 is needed. But you’d be surprised what can happen when we moms, sisters, daughters, and God’s women come together to accomplish something. I joined Lisa Jo Baker and some other friends last month for project Laundry Day, and in less than 8 hours we’d raised over $5,000 for a laundry facility in South Africa. For most of us – it was about the cost of a container of laundry soap.

This is more

This is more than a laundry facility; more than a van; more than a computer lab. Frankly, it’s more than a house. This is an investment in the lives of people who don’t have a tenth of the resources we do on our lowest day.

I recently listened to a favorite author passionately exhort and remind us that we are the palace dwellers – those of us who have been blessed to be born into these North American homes. We have been truly blessed, but we have been placed here for a reason. We are where we are for a time such as this – not to make an impression, but to make a difference (thank you Ann Voskamp).

This is a time to make a difference.

photo by Bess Brownlee

Whether you are a mother or father, daughter or son, wife or husband, you can take a moment and make a difference for people who Christ loves and calls the least of these. Don’t think that you can’t participate because you don’t have thousands or hundreds to give. If you have something to give, it will make a difference. 

I have six words from Micah 6:8 tacked up on my bulletin board, six words that next to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul. and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself” encompass much of what we are called to do while here on this plane: Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. I believe that joining this Mercy House project will make an unfathomable difference in the lives of these young women. I hope you do too.

You can donate through the link on the left side of my blog. Or learn more and donate through the Pure Charity site here.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

Five Minute Friday - Truth

You’ll have to forgive me. This is not the usual Five Minute Friday for me. It’s been a challenging week on a lot of fronts. The ticker tape in my brain has not shut off for days. I’ve been processing a lot. And it’s coming out here – for better or for worse. And I might be breaking a rule or two because I’m sharing one post in two link ups. I don’t know if you’re supposed to do that. But I’m really good at breaking rules, so here I go. I’m not a rebel for nothing. Breathe with me.

This Week: Truth

Go

These last four days, my heart has been so full and tight it hurts to breathe; hurts to inhale. You’d think there’d be more freedom – more of the exhale – I’m coming off a week of wonderful. A time of connecting with women friends who feed my spirit; a long-awaited meeting with a writing friend that was amazing in the fact that it didn’t feel like a first time meeting; the opportunity to attend a conference and sit at the feet of speakers I have been longing to hear – whose words rocked me and challenged me – always pointing back to Him. So where was my exhale?

Instead, the week has felt like a trek through a mud-worn path amidst the flinging of rotten fruit. No one flinging at me per say – this is not a pity party. I am not feeling attacked. But I feel as if I am witnessing them; and my mind is scaling, and calculating, and problem solving. This is what the flip side of my creative right brain does. It crunches. It evaluates, it assesses, it strategizes.  

And what happens when two worlds collide? When the two parts of my brain slam into each other? Right spinning creative that has been praising, praying, and glorying in the revelation of God’s answers and His work here on earth fumbling mightily into the left whirling analytic that has been watching words rise and fall – many in His name – calling for one thing or another; warning against, cautioning against, advising against.

Holy God, where are you in the midst of this storm?

I couldn’t write. I couldn’t find three words to string together this week to join a friend I’ve been longing to write with for ages.

And then I did.

Give me Jesus.

All things fall away and this is all that matters. Who He is. What He said. What He did. What He is doing. Because believe me, He is still doing. Every. Single. Day. And all discussions aside, I think this is why:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.
John 3:16-21 ESV

This is the truth that I know.

You can have all this world.
Give me Jesus

Stop

How to Join
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

Simply Beth's Three Word Wednesday is similar in that you link up and encourage one another, but you choose the three words and share your post, an image, photo, or scripture. Anything that highlights the three words you have chosen. I'm looking forward to more.

If I haven't completely frightened you off, I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation! 

A Lesson from the Word: Psalm 96

Beautiful fall leaves not too far from my home. As we were driving by, the yellow and red

together caught my eye and I asked my husband to turn around so I could stomp through

the wet grass to capture these gorgeous colors.

The past five days have been a whirlwind of activity. I’ve been preparing the house (with much appreciated help from my family) to host a blogging friend that I’ve met now for the very first time in real life (we’ve been writing in the same circles for about a year). I’ve had a chance to spend time with several of my girlfriends that I haven’t connected with in a while. And I had the chance to attend the Women of Faith: God Can Do Anything event that was here in my city.

So many thoughts are swirling through my head – especially coming right off the 31 Days Writing challenge in October. I made it all the way through – every day.

I’m sure I’ll be processing all of these things over the next few weeks, but one thing that keeps coming back to mind over and over is the praise and worship time from the conference.

I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s contemporary musical worship and it’s loud. It thunders and it shakes the arena/auditorium when it gets going, but also whispers with delicacy of a small chapel in meditative moments.

It was the thunder that got me though, because there’s nothing like the sound of hundreds of voices crying out to God together, hearts united, hands lifted. The song soars holy, holy, hallelujah to the heavens on the beat of the bass drum and I wonder how that will sound when magnified by the voice of creation someday. When the forests, trees, rivers, and oceans sing and shout for the God of creation, how amazing will that sound be?

I'm joining again with Sarah from my online writing group, for her Sacro Speco (Sacred Space) linkup. Other images for inspiration will be there if you'd like to visit.

I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!