Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Bear With Me

I read a piece by a favorite new writer tonight; then sat here on the cool edge of early night and let the tears flow over me and through me. It was not the first time today.

Her words about obeying sadness and working past learned behavior of believing that anything but happiness and light was a failure of faith struck a deep chord in me.

I have battled that. Feared that. Fled from that for so long. I have walked through so many empty barren streets in my life; there is no way I will not sometimes carry that darkness with me. If I am being truly honest with myself and my writing, some parts of my life are still a dark, empty road.

I do not fear the darkness. I have learned to navigate my way by stars and reflections from light warming rooms far across the fields of comfort and continuity, but there are times when the darkness feels as if it will overwhelm me. When the words that I know to be true in my heart, are a faint echo of a song that used to play and the strong foundation on which I tread shakes beneath my feet.

In times like these, I do the one thing I am so very bad at.
I reach out. Help me. Hold me up. Bear with me.

It is a small, select group of people for whom I reach. I can barely whisper their names. But I know I can. Pray for me. These are the ones that stand in the gap when I am the silent shell of my usual self; red-eyed and weary; hiding from the world behind a false smile or the bathroom door. Bear with me.

And for the longest time, I thought I was wrong. Thought it was failure and weakness to not be strong. Not be happy. Not be in the light at all times. But then memory falls like rain and pours out all the times that God has been near in the darkness. When it was in the still solace of the night and the quiet of the dusk that I found His voice and found His peace. God in all His wisdom called the night by name and knows the darkness as His own creation. He understands how He has made us and knows that while we will strive and aim and point ourselves at the light, we will stumble a little while in the darkness. Be thankful that His grace and mercy are there to catch us.

If you are in a time of darkness or shadow, can I encourage you that you do not have to immediately try and shrug this off and feel ashamed? There are times and seasons to our being, and there are moments when our joy will be muted. Not gone, but not springing out in full force. Joy never leaves, but sometimes it whispers. We will have sadness; we will have trouble in this life; and God in His goodness will carry us through. And if we are blessed indeed, we will have ones who will come alongside and lend their hands to carry us as well. 

Whether you are carrying, or being carried, remember that we are created to love one another and bear each other up under the burdens that will surely come. Sometimes loving is stepping in when your friend is bowed low with sorrow and the heaviness of living. And sometimes loving is allowing someone else to fulfill their gift and hold you up.






I'd love to connect with you some more - stop on by the Three Bees Facebook Page or connect with me on Twitter @3BeesBlueBonnet. Let's continue the conversation!

I'm joining Simply Beth for her Three Word Wednesday link up and am looking forward to getting to know this circle of writers. For this link up, choose three words; share a post, photo, or scripture that highlights those three words; link up here; and share some encouragement and blog love with other writers.

I'm also joining Holley Gerth at her link up, Coffee for Your Heart, because I love the encouragement of that community.

18 comments :

  1. Sending love to you today, from Coffee for your Heart. So glad I read your post. :) Praying your heart finds joy today, even if it's just a whisper. ♥

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    1. Love that you visited Satin - thanks for your kind words. I have my soft joy today.

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    1. Thank you friend - I always appreciate your words and support.

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  3. LOVE this... and you... holding you up, my friend!

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    1. Love that I can whisper your name and trust that you will pray. So very grateful for you!

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  4. Rebekah, I had one of "these" this past weekend, Mother's Day, as we sat around the lunch table. I wrote about 'that' and other sundry emotions this week on my blog. Beautiful post. I dropped by from Holley's place.

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    1. I appreciate that you stopped by Susan! Holley's place builds some great community.

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  5. Rebekah, this was just so beautiful, and I am so glad you posted it. I can so fully relate to this. I had a long road that was often just as you described. Praying for the Lord to continue to show you points of light through His love and the love and prayers of your friends and those special souls you can open up to at any time. Those are a cherished few for me as well, but I am so grateful for them.

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    1. I love what I've read of your story and sometimes feel we share similar chapters in our lives. I'm so glad this spoke to you and am so glad you have those in your life that can stand in the gap when you need it - they're priceless, aren't they? Thankful for you and the FMF community that are certainly a gift from Him!

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  6. Thank you not just for the words you wrote or the honesty behind them but for just being you. I love this. I love you sweet friend.

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    1. I'm so grateful for your words of encouragement - and so very much for this growing friendship. Now if only that dream of being inRL neighbors was true. Or at least a few states closer! You consistently inspire me to be transparent and vulnerable in my writing - even when it seems like a risk. There are blessings in that risk that are worth finding. Love to you too!

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  7. "Joy never leaves but sometimes it whispers." Yes, yes, yes! It's okay for us to have the bent-double, hold your stomach, heaving sobs sometimes. Life is hard! But I love that you have people you can reach out to who understand and who hold you up. Love this post...and you!

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    1. I love that you understand this! So much friend. Grateful for you!

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  8. It was so good to have you join us again for TWW, Rebekah. And what a beautiful post. I'm always so moved by how you openly share your heart. It's just beautiful. It's encouragement to others to do the same...to be real. I loved those same words as Holly, "Joy never leaves but sometimes it whispers." Such truth. I'm so glad you have friend who have come alongside of you and I have no doubt you are doing the same for others. Much love to you and many hugs.

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    1. So glad to be back after my sabbatical - I do love this particular link up. Thank you for encouraging me to have courage!

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  9. "Joy never leaves, but sometimes it whispers." Beautiful words, Rebekah. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I, too, fight against feelings of inadequacy and sadness and struggle with beating myself up over failures. But you're so right...joy lingers and whispers words of hope--through community, through friends, through the beauty of creation. Those whispers form a chorus that drown out the lies.

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  10. I'm in a season of truly having to reach for joy. "Joy never leaves, but sometimes it whispers." Thank you for the reminder that God is still with me, even in the whispers. Saying a prayer for you!

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Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!