Thursday, May 8, 2014

Five Minute Friday - Grateful (The Desire of My Heart)

Five Minute FridayOn Fridays a bunch of brave writers gather here to all spend 5 collective minutes writing on a single prompt. It is here that fear falls away, because scared is the new brave. I’m not sure what I’m writing tonight. I still feel as if I’m walking on the wobbly rocks between sand and shore – making my way back from a break. Words flow, but they feel more deeply personal – not everything I would normally say. But this is what we do here. We say. I count on this community to hold me in times like this. When there are more questions than answers and even the familiar is questionable. Always, I say: Yes, this community opens wide and invites you in to share. Come and visit and read. You will be blessed.

This week: Grateful

Go

This is the heart I strive for. I fail mightily on a daily basis. My impatient frustration; so often impervious to the idea that I stand redeemed amidst a shower of grace – it gnaws and twists and thrusts inside me – wanting to raise an angry head. Wanting to complain. Wanting to make some noise.

Stop please.

I am ever weary of this conflict in my heart. So ready to give up this struggle with a nature that is all too human (as if I was expecting something better, something different). I cry, and pray, and hope, and dream, and count, and order another book from Barnes and Noble and wish desperately that these new words of wisdom will lead me to a grateful heart.

I sink deep in to Psalms, Proverbs, Galatians, Ephesians. His Word. The Word. All the words looking for the one word that will lead me to that elusive word: grateful.

Stop please.


I am ever grateful for the things I can see: I have more books within arm’s reach than some people will touch in a lifetime. I have a beautiful child where some still long for the sound of one, blessed heartbeat. Though I struggle with my husband from time to time, he cares for me and is patient like no other. I have friends whose care and nurture of me is like warm sunlight on my skin after a long rain. I am blessed.

I am even grateful for the things that ache and burn and hurt. It is hard to say that out loud, but the painful dark and the lonely roads have shaped my heart and my words and make me more willing to risk vulnerability again to help heal a similar hurt I hear in another’s voice. The sharp twinge or step that makes me stumble makes me pause and consider those who cannot run as freely or move as smoothly. These things bring understanding and compassion. And yet …

Stop please.

Oh my heart that is never satisfied let me chase my way back to grace and to a sanctuary of holiness where God alone is enough. Where He is all that I see. And gratitude abounds.

Stop







How to Join 
Want to know about Lisa Jo Baker, how Five Minute Friday got started, and how to participate? All the details are here. No editing or second guessing. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

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11 comments :

  1. Oh Rebekah, your writing is so pure. It is so stunning. I felt every word. I am so grateful to have posted after you because (well I would have looked for you anyway I'm sure because of our FMF snail mail partY0, but to read your words first. A gift. Truly.

    I especially loved this:
    "I am even grateful for the things that ache and burn and hurt. It is hard to say that out loud, but the painful dark and the lonely roads have shaped my heart and my words and make me more willing to risk vulnerability again to help heal a similar hurt I hear in another’s voice."

    My own most painful moments have been my treasure. Through them I have seen God work. Through them I have been able to reach out to another, and through them I have often been made uncomfortable enough to make necessary changes. Thank you so much for sharing today.

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  2. Oh sweet friend... I love you so!

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  3. Beautiful! Love this especially "Chase my way back to grace and to a sanctuary of holiness where God alone is enough" Visiting from fmf. www.reflected.me

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  4. Beautiful! <3 I need to seek that sanctuary more often...

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  5. Rebekah, this post is beautiful. Yes, I am well acquainted with the feeling of looking for and wanting the elusive "more" when I am so incredibly blessed that I really should not long for anything more that what I have already been given. May my heart also be filled with the truth that God is enough. I hope you have a lovely weekend!

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  6. So beautiful: "Oh my heart that is never satisfied let me chase my way back to grace and to a sanctuary of holiness where God alone is enough. Where He is all that I see. And gratitude abounds." The very sanctuary where I wish to live too. Love you sweet friend!

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  7. "I am even grateful for the things that ache and burn and hurt" I am slowly learning to become more grateful for these things. Finally realizing it takes those things to make me and mold me into who God designed me to be.

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  8. Beautiful, Rebekah. I just love how you honestly share your struggle. He alone is enough. I need to remind myself of this daily too. Joining you in this chase back to grace. Much love.

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  9. "Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee."
    St. Augustine

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  10. Thank you, Rebekah, for being vulnerable. It helps to read your FMF post and be okay with mine. The last paragraph still is resonating with me: How God moves in our pain, changing us, showing us His hand & giving us compassion to care for others.

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  11. Oh let my heart chase my way back to grace. Beautiful xoxox love you

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Thank you for the kindess of your comment. I pray your patience with the word verification. I've had such troubles with spammers lately. Thank you for grace. I look forward to reading all the comments and responding. I appreciate you!